Mast Laughing

Attitude rocks.
"I Failed in some subjects in xam,but my frnd pased in all. Nw, he is an engineer in microsoft & i am the owner of microsoft"-Bill gates
Believe in urself...
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Doctr-tabiyat kaisi hai
Santa-pehle se zyada khrab hai
Doc-dawai kha li thi
Santa:nai dawai ki sheeshi bhari hui thi
Dr-i mean dawai le li thi
Santa-ji apne di mne le li.
Dr-bewkoof dwai pee li thi?
santa-nai dwai to lal thi...
Dr-abe pagal dwai ko pee lia tha? santa-nai peelia to mjhe tha :-)
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1 murde se jab uski dastan puchhi gai to usne kuchh is tarah bayan ki- hume to apno ne luta gairo me kahan dum tha,
Meri haddi bhi waha tuti jahan hospital band tha,
Mujhe woh ambulance mili jisme petrol kam tha,
Mujhe rikshe me bithaya kyonki kiraya kam tha,
Mujhe Dr. ne uthaya narso me kaha dum tha,
Mujhe jis bed par litaya uske niche bam tha,
Mujhe bam ne udaya goli me kanha dam tha,
Mujhe sadak par he dafnaya kyonki kabristan me bhi function tha...
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Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya.
Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?
Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or me Out Ho Gya.
Banta: shit Yar.
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Consequences of American life style..
wife rushed in 2 house screaming her husband-"Darlng, Come quick.. Ur kids n my kids r beating our Kids.!!"
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Diff.between new couples & old couples? New couples "LIPS"mila k sote h,or old couples "HIPS" mila k..

Definition of Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Lady 2 dentist: Oooh.. daant nikalwane se to pregnant hona jada aasan hota hai.
Dentist: jaldi soch lo fir me chair usi hisaab se set karunga....!!!!!
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Pati k Marne k Next day,Wife Ne Paper Me Ad diya
"Antim Sanskar Me Shamil Hue Sab Logo Ko Thanx"
FROM:
REENA(32)
Height-5'4",36/24/36 Gora Rang
*Bacche Nhi hai
----------------------.
A VERY FUNNY QUOTE
"Come like a Racer,
Sit like a Yogi,
&
Go like a King...!
Nw u'll ask "Whats funny?
This slogan was written on a....
TOILET DOOR
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man:bhagwan india se america tak sadak bna do.
God: kyu....
man:vaha mera beta rehta h or meri wife uske paas jana chahti h..
God:ye mushkil h or kuch mango..
man: meri wife ki budhhi badal do..
God:sadak sigle line banani h ya double line...
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POLICE JOKES- A Traffic cop stops a guy for speeding.'I've been waiting all day for you,' says the cop. The guy replies, 'Well I've got here as fast as I can.'
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A man looses evrything bcoz of drinking;
He sees empty beer botles & smashes d 1st one swearing
"u r d reason i dont have a wife",
Smashes 2nd one saying
"u r d reason i dont have a job."
3rd bottle,he notices it was sealed & full of beer,he says
"STAND ASIDE I KNOW U R NOT INVOLVED."
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Girl in da party, to man:
excuse me kya aap mere face se ek cheez hata sakte hain?
man: (khush ho ke) ha bolo
girl: apni kutte jaisi nazar !

A very imp message from God to all men and women-Lying with somebody on bed & screaming
"OH MY GOD..!
OH GOD..!
OH GOD..!"
will not be considered as PRAYER
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Ek aadmi ne zoo me 3 zubaane bolne wala totaa dekha Jo english, hindi aur haryanvi bolta tha.
Usne 3 zubane test karni chahi.
Aadmi- who are u?
Totaa- I am parrot.
Aadmi- Tum koun ho?
Totaa- Mein totaa hoon.
Aadmi - Tu kaun se re?
Totaa- Teri maa ka khasam su saale, ek baar me samajh na aawe ke.
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Saas: Bahu naya chawal aya hai, kaisa hai ?
Bahu: Ekdm apke Ladke jaisa, chadhate hi pak jata hai or pani chhod deta hai, Turant utarna padta hai !
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Bhagwan Ne Aurat Ko
Sunder Bnaya,
khubsurat Dimag Dia
Hirni C Aakhe
Gulab Se Hoth
Pyar Bhara Dil Diya
Fir..
Juban Dekar
Sab Par Pani Fer Diya:-P
:-)
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Teacher: Sb se jyada calcium kis dudh me hai? Boy:16sal ki ladki k dudh me..Q k ispe moo lagao to jism k un hisso mein b jaan aajati hai jisme haddi nahi hoti..

Ma:Beta paper kida hoya?Beta:Bas rehn de ched na darda nu,satho dard sunaya nhi jana.Ma:Te tere veer da?Beta:Eh jo slli-slli aundi e hawa,oh v kite ronda hovega.

SantavKo uska Sasur Jute Mar RahaTha
Man-Q Mar Rahe Ho?
Sasur-maine ise Hospital Se SMS Kiya,TUM BAAP BAN GYE ho.
Isne Apne Sare Doston Ko Frwd kr diya :-)
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Santa made a cal 2 da hospital 2 enquire bou' hiz pregnant wife.But da cal wnt 2 a Crickt stadium. He askd.. 'wat iz da conditn?' Santa hd a heart attck aftr he got da answr.. "7 r olready out.3 more stil 2 cum.first 1 was a duck..!!!
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Husband makes a peg of whisky & shout on wife:
"PEE ISKO" Wife: "Chhiiiiii" "Kitna Kadva hai."?
Husband: "Aur tu sochti hai ki main roz AISH krta hu
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Fighter pilot santa kamyabi k baad apna jahaaj land karne pe bohat khush hua..
Niche utarne pe staff ne usey hatho hath lia aur airman uski wardi utarne me help karne lge..
Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara h..
Airman: Wo sab to theek hai, lekin sir ji apne 1 galti kar di..
Santa :Kaun si galti??
Airman: Bas aap isi khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gye hain.. @
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Santa plane land hote hi chillane laga-Banglore aaya banglore aaya Balle Balle,
Air hostess-hello sir.B silent.
Santa-Ok, anglore aaya anglore aaya alle alle.
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Jokes
TEASERS- If Some1 asks me whom do I love d most?
I wud sit next to u put my arm around u and aay proudly, I Love Animals Especially this Monkey.
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Mouse Marige song,
CHUHE ka SEHRA suhana lgta h,
CHUHIYA ka to DIL diwana lgta h,
pal bhar me aise Kutarte h kapde,
ab to hr kapda purana lgta he,,,?
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Memories play vry confusing
role in everybody's life;They make u laugh when u remember d time u cried..,But they make u cry when u remember d time u laughed..
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Never kiss a doctor she said next,never kiss a lawyer she said objection,always kiss a teacher she said do it 5 times and revise it tommorow.
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Teacher to Electronics Students
NAADE ko English mai kya kehte hai ?
Student:- P.H.D.
Teacher: Kya Matlab ?
Student - Pejama Holding Device
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Y u laughing

Jokes
Employee1: I think the new cashier is dishonest. Employee 2: You shouldn't judge by appearances. Employee 1: Im not. I'm judging by disappearances!
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Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!' 'Do you drink a lot?' 'Not really - I spill most of it!'
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Jokes
Definition of Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Only 842 girls left for every 1000 boys...
Save girls !!
We can save the tigers later...
Sher chahiye ya Bandi...??
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Bald Man to Stylist in Beauty Shop: If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me pain,I'll pay you Rs.5000. Stylist said ok and shaved her head.
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Papa-Ye kya tmhre maths me out of 100 me 1 mrks aye h
Son-Jb irado me ho dum to hoslo me q nhi
P-Wht?
S-Srf 2 zero ka farak h papa aa jaynge..
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Man on phone What time does library open?Reply: 9 A.M. Man: So late? Reply: U want to get in before 9? Man: I don't want to get in. I want to get out.

JOKE OF THE DAY

A SENSEFULL STORY..
A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle,when he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop..
He called the surgeon and said.. "Look at this engine...I opened its heart,took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...
So why do I get such a small salary and u get such a huge sum....
The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close 2 his ear and said....
"Try the same when the engine is running."

Wife: Why are u worried? Doctor: I think I've finally cured Bhola. Wife: So y are u worried? Doctor:I ve given him so many pills I don't know which one worked.
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What is Tension?
1 Sunder Ladki Ne Sirf Apse Lift Maangi
Raste Me Uski Tabiyat Kharab Ho Gai
Aap Use Hospital Le Gaye
Dr. Bola - Ap Baap Banne Wale Ho
LO JI HO GAYI TENSION
Aap Bole Main Iska Baap Nhi Hu
Fir Ladki Boli Yahi Iska Baap h
OR TENSION
Police Aayi Aapka Medical Checkp hua
Report Aayi Ki Aap To Kabhi Baap Hi Nhi Ban Sakte
Apko or Tension
apne thank GOD Kha
or nikal liye
fir socha ghar pe jo 2 bache h vo kiske h
THIS IS REAL TENSION.
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Santa khaali baitha tha, Banta-ye kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-badla le raha hu
Banta-kisse
Santa-waqt se usne mujhe barbaad kiya,ab main waqt ko barbaad kar raha hu.
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Gabbar:Tatti kar basanti. VEERU:Nhi Basnti in kutto k samne mat karna ye tmhe pani b nhi denge or chutar us kutte se chatvange jo msg padh raha hai.ha.ha.ha.
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TEASERS- HELP.Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
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Masterji studnts se bole-
koi aashiqi wala sher sunao..
Studnt-
mota marta moti pe,
bhuka marta roti pe,
mastarji ki 3 betiya,
me to marta chhoti pe..
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Police stopped circus juggler for speeding, and asked juggler to perform. Another car passed by. Driver said: Oh my God, is that the new drunken driving test?
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just laugh

Chuhe ko billi lagi gori,
dono milne lge chori chori,
chuha bola gori aa khele ankh micholi,
billi ne chuhe ko khaya, or boli
"I HATE LUV STORY!"
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Santa to banta: Hum dono me kya rishta he
Banta- Jo Besan or Pakode ka he
Santa-wo kese
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai tabhi to Pakoda BANTA he
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2 ENGG. Student raat me padhte hue
1st:Kitne bje hai.
2nd: 1patthar uthakar samne k ghar par mara
1 aurat nikli boli:Kamino ab to so jao rat k 3 baj rahe he
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Minister to Sexy wife: sach sach batao tumne kitni bar humse bewafai ki?
Wife:3 bar.
MINSTER-kab aur kaha?
WIFE: jab apka heart operation hua to Dr ke saath,
Fir jab Aap jail me band hue to judge ke sath.
MINSTER-Tisri bar ?
WIFE- Jab apko sarkar banani thi Aur apke pass 78 MLA kum the

JOKE OF THE DAY

80yr Old man to Dr:
My 20yr old Wife is Pregnant.
Dr: Ek Kahani suno. 1 Shikari shikar pe jate hue jaldi me Gun ki jagah Umbrela le gaya. Jungle me uske samne Lion aaya, Usne Umbrela ka Handle Khicha or Fire kiya, Lion mar gaya..
Old man:-Impossible, Kisi aur ne Goli mari hogi.
Dr: 'EXACTLY'

Defintion of Arrange Marriage..
"Bika hua Maal vapis nahi hoga"..
&
Defintion of Love Marriage>
"Pahle Istemal kare, Phir Vishwas kare"
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Frogs had competition to reach top of hill.
All frogs shouted,its impossible.
Bt,1 frog reached d top. Hw?
He was deaf.
'Be a deaf 4 negative words'..:-)
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A boy got a job in a girls' hostel.. After one month, warden asked the boy: Why didn't u come to take ur salary?? Boy- KYA ????
Salary bhi milegi...::-.
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If Columbus had a GF, he might have never discovered America becoz...
GF: Where r u going?
With whom? How r u going? To discover what?
Why only u? What should I do wen u r gone? Can i cum wid u? Wen wil u b back?
Whr wil u stay? U'll miss me na?
COLUMBUS: Le meri maa, nahi jata! Khush....
BE SINGLE!!:-)
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Husband and wife in the middle of quarrel. Hubby: Be careful. You will bring out the animal in me. Wife: So what? Who's afraid of a mouse?
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A Bhakt:Bhagwan Mujhe Dard De,
Dukh De
Tension De
Mujhe Barbad Kar De
Mere Piche Har Mushkil Laga De
Bhagwan: Abe Sale Ek Line Me Bol
"GIRLFRIEND" CHAHIYE.
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Callgirl bimar ho Gayi
Doctor - yeh lo davai aur tumhe araam ki sakht jarurat hai, is liye 3 din bistar se
rehna.;-)
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1 Call Girl ka janaaza nikla to use dekh k 1 Aadmi bola-Chalo achchha hua.!aakhir aapas me dono milli to sahi---Kisi ne puchha kon dono.?
Wo bola-:Uski Taange.
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Gangu said to Mangu, I have invented a new kind of computer which behaves like a human being. Whenever it makes a mistake, it blames other computers.'
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2 much funny

आपके मनोरंजन के लिये पेश है यह.....
इसे भी पढ़िये.... अच्छा लगे तो जवाब दीजियेगा।

अमृतसर के पागलखाने में नया मरीज भर्ती किया गया। उसका चेकअप करते हुऐ एक डाक्टर ने कहा कि आप मानसिक रूप से तौ ठीक ठाक लग रहे हैं..... फिर यहां कैसे आ गये।
मरीज बोला डाक्टर मैं ठीक हूं पर बात यह है कि कुछ समय पहले मैंने एक विधवा से शादी की...... उसके एक जवान बेटी थी..... मेरे पिता जी ने उससे शादी कर ली और फिर मेरी पत्नी मेरे पिता जी की सास बन गई। कुछ समय बाद मेरे पिता जी के घर बेटी पैदा हुई और वह मेरी सौतेली बहन बन गई। इसके अलावा वह मेरी नवासी भी थी। क्योंकि मैं उसकी नानी का पति था। अब मेरे घर बेटा हुआ। एक तरफ मेरी सौतेली मां मेरे बेटे की बहन लगती थी क्योंकि वह उसकी मां का बेटा था। दूसरी तरफ वह उसकी दादी लगती थी क्योंकि वह मेरी मां भी थी। इस तरह मेरा बेटा मेरी मां का भाई बन गया। डाक्टर साहब आप सोचो मेरे पिताजी मेरे दामाद और मैं उनका ससुर.... इतना ही नहीं मेरी सौतेली मां मेरे बेटे की बहन यानि मेरा बेटा मेरा मामा और मैं अपने बेटे का भांजा...... तभी अचानक डाक्टर जोर-जोर से रोने लगा और उसने मरीज से पूछा कि मेरे बाप मैं कौन हूं ?
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*.एक दिन राजू के पापा एक रोबोट ले कर आये.

वह रोबोट झूठ पकड़ सकता था और झूठ बोलने वाले को गाल पर खीँच कर चांटा मार देता था.

आज राजू स्कूल से घर देर से आया था... पापा ने पूछा "घर लौटने में देर क्यो हो गयी?"

"आज हमारी एक्स्ट्रा क्लासेस थी" राजू ने जवाब दिया...

रोबोट अचानक अपनी जगह से उछला और जमकर राजू के गाल पर चांटा मार दिया.

पापा हंसकर बोले, "ये रोबोट हर झूठ को पकड़ सकता है और झूठ बोलने वाले को चांटा भी मारता है. अब सच क्या है यह बताओ... कहाँ गए थे?"

"में फिल्म देखने गया था" राजू बोला

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने कड़ककर पूछा

"हनुमान"
चटाक... अभी राजू की बात पूरी भी नहीं हुई थी की उसके गाल पर रोबोट ने एक जोर का चांटा मारा.

"कौन सी फिल्म?" पापा ने फिर पूछा

"कातिल जवानी."

पापा ग़ुस्से में बोले "शर्म आनी चाहिए तुम्हे. जब में तुम्हारे जितना था तब ऐसी हरकत नहीं किया करता था."

चटाक... रोबोट ने एक चांटा मारा... इस बार पापा के गाल पर.

यह सुनते ही मम्मी किचन में से आते हुए बोली "आख़िर तुम्हारा बेटा है ना... झूठ तो बोलेगा ही"

अब मम्मी की बारी थी... चटाक!
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*.एक बार एक तोता (Bole to Parrot ) उड़ रहा था फुल स्पीड पर ....

उसके सामने फुल स्पीड में एक फेर्रारी आ रही थी ...

दोनों की टक्कर हुई ...

तोता बेहोश ...

रास्ते में एक भिखारी था

उसने तोते को उठाया और घर ले गया ...

उसको मरहम लगाया ..

और पिंजरे में रख दिया ...

जब तोते को होश आया ...


उसने अपने आप को पिंजरे में देखा ...
बोला...
"आईला ... जेल .... व्हो फेर्रारी का ड्राईवर मर गया क्या ??
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*.आज हम एक अजीबो गरीब प्राणी के बारे में पढायेंगे . . . . . . . .

इस जंतु का नाम है "GirlFriend" . . . . . .

ये अक्सर "Boyfriend" के साथ पाई जाती है !

इनका पोस्टिक आहार "Boyfriend" का भेजा होता है !

इनको अक्सर नाराज होने का नाटक करते हुए देखा जा सकता है ! पर अगर पैसे खर्च किये जाये तो फीर नाटक ख़त्म हो जाता है...

इस प्राणी का सबसे खतरनाक हथियार रोना और इमोशनली ब्लैक मेल करना होता है !

गर्ल फ्रेंड से ब्रेक अप पर टेंशन नाम की बीमारी हो जाती है, जिसका कोई इलाज नहीं.. ये ही एक ऐसा प्राणी है जिसपे कोई विस्वास नहीं करता है...

गर्ल फ्रेंड के लिए बॉय फ्रेंड कुछ भी कर सकता है, यहाँ तक की हस्ते हस्ते कुत्ता भी बनता है... इस प्राणी में बहुत सारे अवगुण फीर भी ये प्राणी इतनी आसानी से नहीं मिलता है, ये प्राणी भाव बहुत खाता है, पर इस प्राणी के पास होता कुछ भी नहीं है जो वास्तविक हो जिसपे भाव खाया जा सके..... ये प्राणी नर प्राणी को बर्बाद करने में कोई भी कसर नहीं छोरता
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Pathan Ladki se: I Love you ! Ladki:Tameez se baaat karo Pathan:
Bismilllah Hir rehman Nir Reheeem, with due respect I beg to say that
"I Love you".

*.Santa roz purane Boss k ghar k aage potty karta tha.Boss:aisa kyu karte ho?Santa:Tumhe yeh batane k liye ki tumhari naukri k bina mai bhukha nahi mar raha hu..
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*.10+2 karne k baad papa ne kaha-ab tum kya karna chahti ho.Girl-BBA.Father-bahut accha.Par ye BBA hota kya hai..Girl-'B'oyfriend ki 'B'ike par 'A'ish karna.
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*.Beti-Mom ye husband kya hota hai?Mom-Jab tum badi ho kar ek acchi ladki banogi to tumhe bi ek milega.Beti-Agar acchi ladki nahi bani to?Mom-to fir bahut milenge.
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*.If ever i was rude to u.if ever i was angry wid u..if ever i was misbehaved wid u then dont hesitate juz slap urself...Galti tumhari hi hogi.
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*.Ek survey k anusaar 50% ladkiyo ko shaadi se pahle sex chahiye.or mera Question ye hai ki aisi ladkiya kaha hai..
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*.Man-sir,my wife is missing.Postman-yeh post office hai police station nahi..!Man-kya karu,kahan jau,khushi k maare kuch samajh nahi aa raha..
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*.Husband & wife dono hotel me gaye,To ek ladki ne hello kiya.Wife kaun thi yeh..Husband:Tum plz mera dimaag kharab mat karo!Abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho?
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*.I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
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*.Meeting rules for managers:
1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.
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*.Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.
---------------------
*.The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
---------------------
*.A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.
The wife asks: "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies: "Autumn."
---------------------
*.A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
---------------------
*.You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
---------------------
*.What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.
---------------------
*.Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick.
Boss: When I’m sick I have sex with my wife, try it.
Later chinese called back: It worked. Me better. You got nice house!
---------------------
*.in the immigrations office at the airport:
- Name?
- Ahmed.
- Sex?
- three times a week.
- no, I mean: male or female?
- Doesnt matter, sometimes even with camel.
---------------------
*.A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
---------------------
*.HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN?
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN?
Arrive naked ... with beer.
---------------------
*.9/11 Terrorists Attacks
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great building... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that...
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's Eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
---------------------
*.Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gya.
Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Garib Parivar tha,
Pita Garib,
Maa Garib,
Bache Garib.
Parivar me4 Naukr the,
wo bhi Gareeb.
Car bi Tutti Hui SAFARI thi.Unka Garib Driver Bachon ko Tutti Car me School Chhod K Aata tha.
Bachon K paas Purane N95 Mobile the.
Bache Hafte me 3 bar Hi Chicken Khate the.
Ghar me 4 Hi 2nd Hand A.C. The.
Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish kar raha thha.....................
---------------------
*.STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
---------------------
Previous............................................................... Next

sms2010

History prof was on leave
So science prof was askd 2
prepar history Q paper
Studnts stunnd seein 1 Q
DSCRIBE JHANSI ki RANI WIT A NEAT DIAGRAM & LABEL D PARTS.
------------------------
Teachr: Main kisi par bhi 1 nazar dal k bta sakti hu k wo mere bare me kya soch raha h.
1 baccha: Miss jab apko pta chal jata hoga toh badi sharm ati hogi na;
------------------------
LOVE JOKE
Difference btw biology and sociology.
A-When the baby looks like his dad, its BIOLOGY.
When the baby looks like the neighbour its SOCIOLOGY.
-------------------------
RIDDLE
Name 3 consecutive days without using the words Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday or Sunday?
Ans-Yesterday,Today and Tomorrow.
-------------------------
OFFICE BLUES
SID-Y did u quit ur last job?
MANGU-Sickness
SID-Wat was it?
MANGU-My boss was sick of me.
-------------------------
OFFICE BLUES
Notice by HR- We will not accept ur doctors statement as proof.
We believe that if u are able to go to the doctor...
You are able to go to work.
-------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Ladki: Condom dena.
Dukandar: Kis liye ?
Ladki: tere Baap
ko Gift dungi taaki tere jaise kam dimaag wala, dusra c*hutiya paida na ho!

OFFICE BLUES
CEO to employees
If you work hard this year
I will give you cheques for Rs. 50,000.
If you work hard again next year,
I'll sign those cheques
--------------------------
Muskarate chehron ko bhi gam ho sakta hai...... Muskarate chehron ko bhi gam ho sakta hai .......... . Lawaris wastuain na chuain bomb ho sakta hai ... :))
--------------------------
Jokes
Patient:Doctor I am very worried about the outcome of this eye operation.Wat are the chances? Doctor: Don't worry you wont be able to see the difference.
-------------------------
Interviewer: Congrats, u r selectd...
Ur 1st Yr Salary is Rs 60,000 & Next Year it'll Be 1 lakh...
Manpreet: Ok sir..!!
Thank u very much.
I will join Nxt year.
--------------------------
Ultimate bezzati
Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K intizaar me khade the,
1 bhikari aya,
Sub se paise liye
Or
Taxi me baith kar chala gaya.!!
---------------------------
QUESTION of the DAY
jab PYAR aur
JANG me sab kuch
JAYAZ hai..
to PYAR me hone wala BACCHA NAJAYAZ KYU Hai...
jago grhak jago..
---------------------------
Take this stR'ess test.
By A'nswering
these tWo questions..
1. Which mouse
has two legs?
Mickey mouse !
2. Which duck has 2 legs?
If you answered
Donald Duck
You are under stress...
BeCause
All ducks have two legs:-P
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Mast msgs

A boy wrote love letter wid his BLOOD to a medical girl & said Khat ka jawab zarur dena.
Girl replied:
Blood group=B+,
Hemoglobin=8,Sugar=ok,
Fees
100Rs
-------------------------
Ek ladki aur Sardar ko pyar ho gaya.
LADKI: Sardarji aapko meri bilkul parwah nahi hai.
SARDAR: O'Pagli pyar karnewale kisi ki parwah nahi karte.
-------------------------
Good heart and good nature are two different things, good heart can who many relationship but good nature can sustain life long relationship...
-------------------------
To
The Principal
School
PUNJAB
Sir
Gal Yeh hai ki school vich
sadda aaj kal dil nahi lagda. Raat nu neend nahi aandi, Qki school vich kudiyan ghat rahi hai, Te saddi class vich 1 vi nahi hai, Jo or class vich hai o sab enni mariyal han ki dekhan nu ji ni karda aur Nakhre te asman pe han, Te Madam v koi khaas
pataka nahi han, Or kuch ni to tusi kam se kam 3-4 sohni kaam valiyan
hi rakh lawo..Twadi vaddi meherwani howangi
URs FAITHFULLY
student
--------------------------

SMS OF THE DAY

Pati BANGKOK gya. Bahut dino tak nai lauta, to Patni ne SMS kiya:-
"DARLING,waha tum jo KHARID rahe ho,kya main wo yaha BECHNA shuru karu?
Nxt day pati wapis.!

Aise Q hote He?
1.Papa kahte hai beta padhai karke kuch bano to bura lagta H par yahi baat GIRLFRND kahti to lagta H care karti H.
2.GF ke liye Maa-Baap se jooth bolte hai par Maa-Baap ke liye GF se kyon nai
3.GF se shaadi ke liye parents ko chod dete H parents ke liye GF ko kyon nai chod dete
5.GF se roj raat me mobile se poochte H khana khaya ki nai ya kitni roti khaai par kya aaj tak yahi baat parents se poochi
Agr koi mistake ho jaye to unko sudaro
..so care ur parents.
Mata-Pita hi BHAGWAN.
Yaar choudhary
Is Msg Ko itna falayo jitna apne Mata - Pita se PYAR KRTE HO.
I LOVE MY Mom AND Dad

Best MOM in the world is Punjabi MOM who never let her child cry.whenever she see tears in her baby's eyes,she says "Hun rona aape band karenga k main aavan".
--------------------------
A Gal checks her Lover's Mob 2 know wich name he has saved HER No: wen dialed it showed. . . . . . TIME PASS NO.8 - calling
---------------------------
BUDDY JOKES- Gangu- Hey Changu. U r sweating so much while painting.
Why don't u remove ur jacket?
Changu- It says on the tin to apply 2 coats.
---------------------------
Women live a Better, Longer and Peaceful Life!!!
Why?
Very Simple..
A women does not have a Girl Friend or Wife..
---------------------------
LITTLE PAPPU
TEACHER-Where was the PEACE TREATY signed?
PAPPU-At the bottom of the paper.
---------------------------
Maths teacher askd JOHNY- "If u hav 12 chocolates n u give 5 2 DONA, 3 2 ALICE n 4 2 ROMA, wat wil u get?" JOHNY "Sir! 3 new gal friends..!!"
---------------------------
FUN
HEIGHTS of mixed emotions?
Your mother-in-law driving over a steep cliff in your brand new car.
---------------------------
LITTLE PAPPU
TEACHER-Please turn on ur computer
And click MY COMPUTER
PAPPU-Where Is YOUR COMPUTER?
--------------------------
LITTLE KUKI
TEACHER-Make a sentence using beans. CHIMPU-My father grows BEANS.
KUKI-We are all HUMAN BEANS.
--------------------------
LITTLE KUKI
TEACHER-Hitler said nothing is impossible.
KUKI-OK Sir, please ask him to take out all the toothpaste and put it back in the tube again.
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sms in news

Mil jati hai kitno ko khushi,
Mit jate hai kitno ke gum.
Msgs isliye bhejte hai hum,
taki dur rehkar bhi,
"HAMARI"
dehshat na ho kam!!
---------------------------
JUST SEE THE SKY,ALL STARS R BLINKING EXEPT 1 CUTE STAR THT IS BUSY IN READING MY SMS ...
--------------------------
Na Mom Ki MarSe
Na Dad k AtyacharSe
Na Dosto Ki FatkarSe
Na Ladki k InkarSe
Na Chaplo Ki Bochhar Se
Ladke Darte H To Bas"Rakhi" K Tyohar Se
"COMING SOON"
--------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Luv n frendshp r walking in a village.
Luv falls down in a well.
Y?
coz luv is blind.
Frendshp also jumps inside.
Y?
Aiven
Fukri !!
Mother:main jithe v paise rakhdi hn,eh munda sare e chk lainda a..
Hun dasso mai paise kithe rakha..?
Father: kanjar di kitab ch rakh de, jma ni hath launda..0

Let's celebreat Men's day:
"Bechara mard"
Agar aurat pr hath uthaye to zalim,
aur pit jaye to buzdil.
Aurat ko kisi k sath dekh k ladai kare to jealous aur chup rhe to
be-gairat,
Ghr se bhar rhe to awara,
aur ghar me rahe to nakara,
Bacho ko dante to zulmi,
na dante to
la-prwah,
Aurat ko servic se roke to
shakki-mizaz,
na roke to aurat ki kamai par jeene wala
Bechara Mard kare to kya kare.
Janhit Main Jaari
"Nari Hai Atyachari"
save the man.
---------------------------
PJ DEEJAY
DOCTOR-Ur suffering from depression
Dont keep anything with u that worries u a lot.
DEEJAY-Ok,I just threw away ur bill.
---------------------------
1 girl 1 Smile
1 Smile 1 Meeting
1 Meeting 1 Propose
1 Propose 1 Love
1 Love 1 Marriage
1 Marriage
111111
Problems
So avoid 1'st smiLe..
---------------------------
Customer:Ye Cow Kitne Ki Hai?
Salesman:500Rs
Coustmer:Itni Sasti?
SalesMAN:China Ki Hai Koi Gurantee Nahi, Ho Sakta Hai Kal Se Bhonkna Shuru Karde...
----------------------------
if done with a virgin,
"Science", if done with a fertile woman,
"Business transaction", if done with a prostitute,
"Social work", if done with a divorced
----------------------------
"Cutest Proposal in Lkg class"
Boy:kya tu melko apna address degi??
Girl: par ku?
Boy:1 din balaatt lekal aaunga..!!
----------------------------
2 campers are attacked by a bear & start running. 1 stops to put on shoes. Other says- U can't run faster than bear. He says - I only need to run faster than u.
-----------------------------
Two Seater Helicopter crashed on a "KABRISTAN" in PUNJAB.
Next day's News:- PUNJAB Me Hawai jahaj gira,
Sardaro ne 250 laashe dhund nikali, aur talash jari hai..?
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Adult Sms

Zindagi ka Sabse Khatarnak Stunt: !Talvaar ki Tez Dhaar Par Nangi Gaand se Fisalna. Aur Phir Lund SeBreak Marna. Kya hua?Sochte hi Gaand Phat Gayi
--------------------------
Akbar: Tum ghanti bajake puja karte ho ,Bhagwan kya sote rehte hai?
Birbal: hujur aap g**and uthake namaz padte ho, Allah kya g**and marne aate hai.
--------------------------
Her lady Sex k Time alag-alg bat krti h
Nokrni-Jldi kro malkin aa jaegi
Padosn-Dhire kro awaz bahr Na jai
Premika-thoda or kro
Biwi-Pankha kitna gnda ho gya
---------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

What is common between moov & l*nd
Dono ander tak jaye garmahat dilaay arram dilaay
Ah... Se Ahhaaa..... Tak
,,,
(',")
(';') __ //\ \
_/_/ <<\~/_ /_

Ohh!!
ahh!
sss..
Ab uth jao..
aur ainda se message karte rehna.
Nahi to fir se g*and marlunga, samjhe?

Name of some sex minister of our neighbour countries
Pakistan : Shake my boob
Russia : Zabardasti boobs press ki
Sri Lanka: Suck My lingam
America: Le jhar le
China: Gaand sung lee
-------------------------
MARRIAGE CARD:Mrs.bra n mr. Langot singh requst ur presence 4 the mariage of their son
L*ND KISHORE
With
CH*T KUMARI
(d/o mrs. N mr.g*andu singh r/o gandimendu)
VENUE:
Shanti bai ka kotha ch*udai wala lawn
FUNCTIONS:
Boobs dabai-16AUGUST
Chumma chati-17august
CH*ODUM CH*UDAI-18AUGUST
RSPV:
Ghanta singh(mama)
(.....)
--------------------------
women Luv gold more than men? . . . . . . Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
--------------------------
U loose 90 calories after a 30 minute Walk.. AND U loose 160 calories after 3 minutes of Sex...Time Aapka.. Faisla Aapka.... WALKING ya THOKKING...??
---------------------------
Ladki k Boobs jitne bade honge,
Uski Sundrta utni badti hai,
Tabhi to kabir ne kaha-
Choti Chuchi dekh k diya Kabira roy,
Aise b kis kam k jo DABA sake na koi...
---------------------------
2 Ladies CAR Driving Seekh rahi thi.
Unke Pati:YAAR meri BiWi to RAAT ko GEAR SAMAJH kar HiLATi rahi. DUSRA: meri BiWi to PANTY KHOL kar boli 200 ka DAAL do.
---------------------------
Patni-Aap Ne Mere BO*OBs Muh Me Le-Le Kr Bahut Bade Kar Diye Hai
Pati-Pagli, Agar Is Tarah Hota To Aaj Mera L*ND Mere Ghutne Tak Latak Gaya Hota..
---------------------------
Bra Me Parvat Milta He Panty Me Khaai Milti He Lakh Dard Ho Magar Parvat Pr Chade Bina Raha Nhi Jata or Khaai Me Gire Bina Maza Ni Aata.
Previous............................................................... Next

Adult sms

Adult poem..:
Mohini aao khelenge,
Nahi aap hamari le lenge.
Yhi to pyar ki kasauti hai,
Nahi,abhi to meri bahut chhoti hai.
Dekh tere liye is dil me kitna pyar bhara hai,
Nhi mjhe pata hai aapka bahut bada hai.
Dekh ye tera husn aur nikhaar dega,
Ji nahi,ye to meri buri trah phaad dega!
-----------------------------
Kaam wali bai ko 1 din condom mila, Bai: Maalkin ye kya h Maalkin: tere gaon mein sex nahi karte kya? Bai: karte hain pr itna nahi ki khal utr jaye.
-----------------------------
*Just like F*CK, we Indians also hv a universal versatile word -B*HENCHOD
As a NOUN-wo 1 b*henchod hai.
As a VERB-zyada b*henchody mat kar.
As an ADJECTV- b*henchod launda hai
Now 4 different emotions-
ANGER- Bhak b*henchod.--
FRUSTRATION- Sab chu*tiye hain sale b*henchod.
SHOCK- Oye Behenchod !!
ACCEPTANCE-sahi hai b*henchod
REJECTION-g*and marao b*henchod
FEAR-ab kya hoga b*henchod?
JOY - Sabki B*henchod di.
--------------------------------
*Interview board. What's ur wife's name? Snta:Bubbly. INTERVIEW BOARD:What's her whole name? SNTA:Hole ka naam to rkha nhi, Hm to pyar se f*di f*udi bolte hai.
---------------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Bus driver k peache baitha ek baccha shor kr raha tha.
Ager meri maa hathni or bap hathi hota to main chota hathi hota!
Ager meri maa cow or bap bull hota to main chota bull hota.
Is terhan janwaro k naam lieye,
Itne main Bus driver ghusse main bola,
ager teri maa randi or bap gandu hota to tu kya hota?
Bacha: BUS DRIVER!!

Santa ki Accident Me L*ulli Toot Gyi Dr.Ne Hathi Ki Soond Lagai
Aftr 1 Mnth Santa Bola-Baki Thik Hai Bus Jahan Hare Patte Dikhte Hai Tod k G*and Me Daal Deta Hai.

*Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2stones with the help of a crane.
----------------------------------
*Sexual Thoughts of the day.Its not the length, its not the size,its how many times u can make it rise!its not how well it fits but how often u can make it spit.
----------------------------------
*Wedding night ki subah Dulhe ne Dulhan se Pocha.“Kesa Mehsoos ker rahi ho?“Dulhan: Aap ne to mujhe Kallu dhobi ki yaad dila di.
------------------------------------
*Indian cricket team or toilet me common kya hai……? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?Are yaar Dhoni yahan bhi hai or Dhoni wahan bhi hai….. . . .ha ha ha ha
--------------------------------------
*Boy2sales Girl:give a condom?
SalesGirl:Can I touch ur Pens 4 size?Boy:ok.SalesGirl:Give him “M“ size,wait..Give “L‘wait..Give ‘XL‘
oh shitt.Give me a tissue paper.
--------------------------------------
*Dulhay ne 1st nite dulhan ki ankh par kiss ki aur bola“ankhain shakhsiat ki kitab hoti hai”
dulhan: tum kitabo may khoye ho nichay Library me aag lagi hoi hai..
--------------------------------------
Santa ki wife ki delivry hui
Nurse tanke laga rhi thi.
Santa hopelessly standing behind window and asked the nurse-
"Ssh ssh sister, Puri to nahi silogi.?"
---------------------------------------
Beti: mummy,aap ke jmaane mein 10-10 bache kyon hote they..???
Mummy: Beti..hamare time pe..
Ye munh mein Lene wala riwaz nahi tha na...
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Sms masti

Tumahre Har Gunaah Ki Maafi Hai,
Tum Jo Roye To Bahut Na insafi hai,
Tumahri ankho me na aaye kabhi PANEE,
Kyuki BAHNE k liy to TUMAHRI NAK HI kafi hai.:-);-)
---------------------------
For the first time in the history of messages...
"3D" message in your mobile...See and enjoy...
And remember,I was d first to send it..
D D D
---------------------------
sms
Thought for the Day-
"Garmi Or bezzati Jitni Mehsoos kroge utni jada lagegi.."
So Be Brave & Be Besharm!!
EnJoy ur life..hink Hatke..
---------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Love_Letter frm punjaban to husband. O mere dil de chain, tere piche kutte pain, Tu luteya mere dil da chain, rabb kare tenu keede pain, Tere nain bade nashile, jive jharu de tille, Tu mere dil vich eddan vasea, jive chikad vich saand fasea, jane jigar jane tamana, edhar aa terian lattan bhanna.

Gaon me tatti,
Shehar ME latring,
Hinduo ME sandas,
Muslimo ME pakhana.
Naam anek pr maal ek,
Roop rang anek pr khushbu 1.
Anekta me 'ekta' Tatti ki visheshta.
-----------------------------
Beta Baap se- papa ji Apki Chain Khuli hui hai...
Baap:-Sab ke Samne Chain nahi bolte bete.... Makeup Box Bola karo..
Beta:- Achha Papa ji Apna Make-up box band kar lo,apki lipstick dikh rahi hai
-----------------------------
FUN WITH CHANGU
Did you here what Changu said when he was invited to a BARbeCUE?
'No thanks I don't want to wait in line for a hair cut.'
-----------------------------
Pakistan me twin babies paida huye to saas apni bahu ko boli, "Lo btao, hamare pakistan ki haalat dekh kar ab bachhe bhi akele aate huye darte hain...!!"
-----------------------------
MCDONALD
SHAYRI:
Kabutar ne kar di Burgar pe Shit...
Wah Wah
Kabutar ne kar di Burgar pe Shit...
& U r Still Saying I m Loving It.
-----------------------------
Teacher: Write an esay on "If I Was a Millionair"
Every1 started writing bt nt 1boy.
Tcher:Y dont u begin?
Boy:Waiting 4 my secretary!
Dats attitude..
-----------------------------
Pappu ki master se hui ladai
Master ne ki pappu ki dhulai
Pappu ka garam hua khoon
Gaya kabristan aur kabr pe master ki photo tang k likh diya"COMING soon...!!
-----------------------------
Smile 2 old means
Respct,
Smile 2 child means Innocnce,
Smile 2 frnd means
Care,
Smile infrnt of mobile means
puttar chakkar koi or hai. :-)
------------------------------
The best prank call ever:
"Hello, dominos..??"
"yes sir, how may I help you..??"
"give me Pizza Hut's number!!" :-D :-P
------------------------------
Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you.Taniya: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya ?.. I am Miss Taniya.Doctor: Oh....!! Sorry Miss Taniya, bad news for you..
------------------------------
Nice Line :-Agar Aap Ek Pencil Ban Kar Kisi Ki Khushiya Nhi Likh Skte To..Koshish Karo Ki 1 Acha Rubber Ban K Kisi K Gum Mita do.
------------------------------
Changu is wearing one red sock and one blue one sock. Gangu- 'That's an unusual combination. Changu- No. I've got another pair just like it at home.'
Previous............................................................... Next

*New*sms*

Om namah SHIVAY, Om sai RAM, Wahe GURU, Jai shri KRISHNA, Jai MATA di
Daro mat!
10-20 logon ko forward nahi karna hai..
Khud hi jap le
"PAAPI":-)
--------------------------
Phele nara tha pakistan jindabad ab hai pakistan se jinda bhaag.
--------------------------
Pujari ne apni girlfriend k kandhe pe 1st time haath rakkha aur bahut dhire se nervously bola: "I love u..".
Girlfriend- "Jor se Bolo''.
Pujari: JAY MATA Di.
--------------------------
Mandir ke bahar chapal rakhne me or miss call dene me kya common hai?
socho
socho
Nhi pata chala
dono me darr laga rahta hai k KOI UTHA NA Le.
--------------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Beauty of ENGLISH Ever noticed how deleting one word after the other in a sentence can lead to a nice story? Here's an example: "Oh John plz dont touch me at all..!"
"Oh John plz dont touch me at..!"
"Oh John plz dont touch..!"
"Oh John plz dont..!"
"Oh John plz...!"
"oh John..!"
"Ohhh!!!!!!":)

Nach meri bulbul TUJHE paisa milega
wa wa
Nach meri bulbul TUJHE paisa milega
Hum CID se hai koi apni jagah se nhi HILEGA.:-P
--------------------------
Satyavachan : Agar Ghee Seedi Ungli Se Na Nikle To
Ghee ko Garam Kar Lo......
-------------------------
There were 2 friends
Jo and Wo
One day Jo get scared by just watching snake & Wo died
Why wo died?jo dar gaya Wo mar gaya.
-------------------------
Behind every FAIL student there is a Hot girlfriend & what about a TOPPER ??? ? ? ? A Beautiful Teacher!
Jiski wajh se usne sari clases attend ki thi.
-------------------------
DOCTOR JOKES
'Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?'
'I can't say.' Replies the Doc, 'I never make RASH promises.'
-------------------------
MUSAFIR : Beta Aap Mujhe Thoda Sa Pani Pila Denge?
BACHA: Agar Lassi Ho Jaye To...?
MUSAFIR : Tab To Bohat Hi Achcha Hai..
Bachcha lassi le aya.
Musafir Ne 5 pyale Lassi Peene K Baad Bache Se Pucha: Kya Tumhare Ghar Me Koi Lassi Nahi Peeta??
BACHA : Peete To Sub Hain, Lekin Aaj Lassi Me MENDAK Gir Gaya Tha or ussi me mar gya tha.
Musafir Ne gusse me Pyala Zameen Par De Mara...
Bachcha Rote Hue Bola,:
"Mummy Inhone Pyala Tod Diya. Ab Hum kutte ko Paani kisme pilayenge.
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SANTA TE BANTA

SANTA flight mein pilot ka headphone cheen raha tha.. Pilot: Ye kya kar rahe ho?SANTA: Saalo ticket hum le..Aur Gaane tum suno...
------------------
Santa- Bhai Jaldi Jao Tumhare Ghar Mein Barsat Ka Pani Ghus Gaya Hai !
Banta- Kyu Jhuth Bolte Ho, Ghar K Chaabi To Mere Paas Hai.
------------------
Santa: Phone pe itni dheemi aawaz me kiss se baat kar raha hai?
Banta: Behen hai.!
Santa: To phir itni dheemi aawaz me kiss liye?
Banta: Teri hai isliye. :-)
-----------------
Meri engagement ki Date fix ho gayi hai 25 july ko hai.

Santa ki Girl Frnd usko itna keh kar chali gayi.
-----------------
SANTA kele k chhilke se fisal kar gir gaya
Aage phir doosre chilke se fisal k gir gaya.
Ab teesre chhilke ko dekh k wo bola...?
Shit, Ab fir girna padega.
----------------
SANTA sukhe talab me BOAT chala rha tha
BANTA-Aise logo ne hi hmara nam khrab kr rkha h agar mujhe tairna ata to whi jake marta sale ko.
----------------
Santa k pas 1 kauva (crow) tha Wo bahut mulayam tha
To usne apne kauve ka naam kya rakha hoga?
?
Microsoft (my-crow-soft) ise kehte h technical msg.G m
----------------
Santa naukri dhoond raha tha,
videsh se reply aa gaya...
Saare k saare bade khush...
Daru-sharu di party de dali...
Dost puchne lage bhai bata to
kaun si company hai, kitni salary hai....
Santa: English me letter aaya hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haan

"You Do not meet"
tum to milte hi nahin ho.

"our requirements"
Hume to bahut zarurat hai.

"no further correspondence"
Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahi,

"will be entertained"
Bahut khatir ki jayegi...!
:-):-)

----------------
SANTA dialled a phone no.
A computrizd female voice said..'apke paas paryapt balance nai h..'
SANTA - Bas baby..
tumse baat ho jati h itna hi kafi h...:-)
-----------------
Santa ki behen ko daaku utha le gaye.
Logo ne kaha ki daaku khatarnak hai,
khali hath mat jana behen ko bachane!
Fir
kya
Santa 2 kilo aam le gaya..!
-----------------
Punjab Airline di Airhostess: sir kee lawoge? Banta: badam milk, kheer, bread pakora with tea
Airhostess: sir tusi jahaaz te aaye ho prabhat feri te Nahi.
-----------------
SANTA London ke Hotel mein murga khane gaya,
lekin murge ka english word bhul gaya.
Waiter-What do u like 2 have sir??
SANTA -1 plate egg ke Papa please...

new msg

"IT'S TRIBUTE TO OUR LOVELY MOTHER"
Sakht raston mein bhi aasan safar lagta hai,
Ye mujhe MAA ki duaon ka asar lagta hai,
Ek muddat se meri MAA nahi soi Jab..
Maine ik baar kaha tha "MAA mujhe dar lagta hai..!
------------------------------
'hate me'
or
'miss me'
both r in my favour
if u
'hate me'
i always be in your 'mind'
but if u
'miss me'
i alwys be in your 'heart'
------------------------------
Thot of the day:
The ultimate truth of life is that:-
"success always kisses u in private.."
but
"failure always kicks u in public..
-------------------------------
Look backward with satisfaction and Look forward with confidence...
U'll succeed in ur life !!!
Be bold when u lose and Be calm when u win.!
-------------------------------

SMS OF THE DAY

KYA AAP JANTE HO:
Bina jeete T2O World Cup me Indian Crikter ko 3 Crore Rs.diye gaye
Lekin Naxal vadiyo se ladte huve 76 Army jawan maare gaye unko Indian Govt ne 1 lakh Rs.deneka sirf promiss kiya he Forward this msg till it reaches our Prime Minister.

My Dear Indians. A kind Request.
During our independence, Punjab people actively participated in all revolutions against British. 4 dis reason British Men used 2 publish SARDAR JOKES to tease them in their magazines. But v still follow that. So Plz edit SARDAR & use "Jack" (english man) instead..
Our army contains 65% of singh Let's respect them & our great army too..If u delete it witout forward, u r not an indian.
-By An Indian. For an Indian.@

Teacher: Tell me da perfect example 4 Newtons 3rd law? Student: Wenever i open my buk,my eyes close automatically Action 4 Reaction
--------------------------------
Gal:My heart is like a mob n u r da sim card Boy:I m vry happy. . . Gal:dont b 2 happy. . . If I get a new offer I vl change sim card
--------------------------------
DEFINTIONS
BLAMESTORMING- Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed,and who was responsible.
--------------------------------
DAD n SON JOKES
Son:Dad, give me the car key, I am now old enough to drive.
Dad: Oh, no, the car is not old enough to be driven by you
--------------------------------
Doctor Jokes
Doctor- Please breathe out three times.
Patient- Why, do you want to check my lungs
Doctor- No, I want to clean my glasses
---------------------------------
SHE JOKES
Wat do u cal a woman in heaven? An Angel
A crowd of women in heaven?A host of Angels.
And all women in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
---------------------------------
JOKES
Do u ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
---------------------------------
FUNNY PRAYER
Dear God, thank u for making me healthy.Can u also make me slim? If u can't make me slim,please make all my friends fat.Amen.
---------------------------------
Hey U Know Wich is da best day 2 propose a gal April 1 U Know y? If she accept its ur luck otherwise just tell April Foooool
--------------------------------
Gal:My heart is like a mob n u r da sim card Boy:I m vry happy. . . Gal:dont b 2 happy. . . If I get a new offer I vl change sim card
--------------------------------
Hey U Know Wich is da best day 2 propose a gal April 1 U Know y? If she accept its ur luck otherwise just tell April Foooool
--------------------------------
Cutest Proposal- A Boy rings d Doorbell Of a Gal Home Asks, "Do U Belive in Love At First Sight" "Should I Come Back Again"
--------------------------------
Height Of Illiteracy: U take a Blade Write ur Lover's Name on your Arm. and Make A Spelling Mistake.
--------------------------------
100 words dont gve pain but,a true friend's silence hurts a lot.. esplly in da exam hall..!!!
--------------------------------
Teacher: Y r u late? Student: My dad told me 2 take our cow 2 bull. Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it? Student:Only BULL can do it
--------------------------------
It was mealtime on Punjab Airlines. Air Hostess: "vud u like dinner?" Sardar: "Wat r my choices?" Air Hostess : "Yes or no,"
--------------------------------
Sardar was asked 2 write da pasve voice of. "I made a mistake" Guess wat he wrote ??? "I was made by a mistake"
---------------------------------
Nonu teacher se - Mam mein aapko kaisa lagta hoon? Mam: So sweet NONU Nonu dost se-Main na kehta tha ki Sali line marti hai !
---------------------------------
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Just joking

Lady 2 Police: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet. Police: Why dont u cook something else?
---------------------
At d scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! Ive lost my hand. Sardar: Ctrl urself dont cry,c dat man.He has lost head.Is he cryng ?
---------------------
Man: I Have Changed My Mind. Sardar: Good So Does this one work better?
---------------------
1 Hand on horn 1 Hand on gear 1 Ear listing 2 Song 1 Ear on da Mobile 1 Foot on Accelerator Othr On Clutch n Eyes On Gals Welcom 2 UTH
---------------------
Gal sitting on a park bench. Funny Begger: Hi Darling!!! She angrily: How dare u cal me as Darling...? Begger: Den wat r u doin on my bed
---------------------
Failure is not only wen ur girlfriend leaves u.. It is wen u dont try for her sister...
---------------------
Imp of thumb.. Child use it 4 chewng Illiterate ppl use it 4 sign Winners 4 victory . . My FANS use it 4 readng my msgs U 2...
---------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

Customer: I need poison. Chemist: I cant sell u. Man shows his marriage certificate. Chemist: O! sorry,I dint knew u had a prescription..

Eclairs or i-pil me kya fark hai?
. Socho
Aur socho
Choti bachchi eclairs khaa k masti karti hai
Or
Badi bachchi masti
karke
i-pil khati hai

U luk sweet when u read my msg. U luk sweeter wen u read my msg n smile. U luk sweetest wen u read my msg,smile n reply.So,luk sweetest
---------------------
Gal: Do u hav n e sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How abt dis card,it says 2 da only boy I ever loved Gal: Gr8, I want 10 of dem.
---------------------
A : u r Actve B : u r Best C : u r Cute D : u r Dear friend E : u r Excelnt F : u r First G : u r Gr8 it take much time 2 lie tilZ
---------------------
Congrats! Gud news 4 University Students Exams of Univ hav bn postponed up2 June 2 confirm go to site www.stopdreamingstart studyng.com
---------------------
Always Remember: Wen SHE cancels a date,its cos.. "SHE HAS TO" But Wen HE cancels a date,its cos "HE HAS 2"
---------------------
John 2 Mam: Would u punish me 4 somthing I didnt do? Mam: No,of course not. John: Gud,because I didnt do my homework.
---------------------
Teacher: 2morrow der vl b a lecture on Sun. Boy: I vl not b able 2 attend it. Teacher: y? Boy: My mom vl not allow me 2 go so far.
---------------------
Son: Papa wats da diff between mothers tear n wifes tear? Father: Mothers tear hit ur heart n wifes tears hit ur pocket.
---------------------
Boy 2 Girl b4 exam: all d best, Girl also told d same . Girl scored 80 marks n Boy failed . . Moral: 1ly Boys vsh vth true heart
---------------------
I vl L O V E U Until T O M catches J E R R Y n has him 4 D I N N E R...
---------------------
The lengthiest sms in da world.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not been written yet....
---------------------
My attitude in Exams, They gave me ques wich I dont know, I gave dem ans wich they dont know - :)
---------------------
HEIGHT OF FLIRT : Entring late in da Class vthout permision n sayin 2 Mam- . . . . SWEETIE, CARRY ON,DONT STOP 4 ME
---------------------
V Say 21 as twenty one 31 as thirty one 41 as forty one 51 as fifty one Y not 11 as 1ty one? Doubt by bak bench Uth
---------------------
In Bollywood AMITABH In Tennis SANIA In Steel MITTAL In Busines AMBANI In CriCket Sachin N SMS ITS ME Famous
---------------------
Teacher:Boy!join these 2 sentences 2gether. I was cycling 2 school.I saw a dead body. Boy:I saw a dead body cycling to school
---------------------
Marriage:An agreement in wich a man loses his bachelors degree n a women gains her masters.
---------------------
CONGRATS. Ur phone has bn installed vth a new puzzle game. 2 play,throw ur phone against da wall.Then assemble da pieces....
---------------------
Teacher: Who is ur fav writer? Student: Ur daughter Teacher: y? Student: Evryday she gives me a nice love letter.
---------------------
If u need advise,msg ME IF U NEED A friend,CALL ME if u need help e-mail ME if u need MONEY No.ur dial not respondin at da moment..
---------------------
Dad: Wats ur result? Son: Ive faild in 5 subjects. Dad: Now onwards dont cal me 'Dad'. Son: com on dad!Its my schl test not a DNA test.
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Mazakia sms

ROHIT-U want to marry me?
RITA-Yes,vry much.But u have known me only for 2 days.
ROHIT-Oh much longer than tat really.I work in d bank wer u hold an account.
--------------------
JOKES
Seeing a man on d sidewalk looking at his taxi,d driver approached him n asked 'Taxi, Sir?'Thanks,' said d drunkard, 'I was just wondering what it was.'
--------------------
Aapko Pta hai aaj konsa Special Day Hai
Aaj Titanic ki 94th Anniversary Hai
So Please Sab Pyar Krne Walo Se Guzarish hai ki
''DOOB MARO"
--------------------
CLASSROOM JOKES
Teacher to student-You make the same mistake as ur bench mate! What will u say about it?
Student-Sir, we have the same teacher!
--------------------
DOCTOR JOKES
The doctor was just leaving d patient who was critically ill.
DOCTOR-I'll see u tomorrow.
PATIENT-'I don't doubt that.But shall I see u?
--------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

A Punjabi Bra Ad:Har kudi di pasand "PREETO BRA", Hun 6 sizan vich uplabdh,
1. Small,
2. Medium,
3. Vadde,
4. Oyee hoye,
5. Hay O Rabbaa,
6. O Teri Bhen Di..0

Technology Has Its Limitation. Google May B The Most Powerful Search Engine But It Couldnt Search My Chapal. I Lost In Mandir On Tuesday! Kya Fayda Google Ka..!
----------------------
"Only few true loving hearts can easily identify some little lies in your smile and some more truths in your tears."
Value those hearts... Tk cr
----------------------
Fun
Customer to shopkeeper: 'I like d cloth, but I don't like d print on it.Shopkeeper: 'Sir, don't worry about d print, it will disappear after first wash!
----------------------
SERVANT -Madam, I got these 100 Rs notes from the dustbin.
MADAM -Throw them away.They are fake.
SERVANT-I know madam.That's why I am returning them to you.
----------------------
RAMU-How can a little fellow like u be a tiger trainer?
SHAMU-My small size is d secret of my success! The tigers are waiting for me to grow a little larger!
----------------------
After huge hit of 'RAKHI KA SWAYAMWAR' now d next season coming,
'RAKHI KI SUHAGRAAT !' To participate, contact...
NDTV Imagine...
HURRY !!
Limited BEDS !!!
----------------------
TEACHER-A wise man cannot answer each n every question put forward by a foolish man.STUDENT-U r absolutely right.This is d main cause of my failure in d exams.
---------------------
Ek bacha hasta hua paida hua. Nurs ne poocha y u r laughing? Bache ne muthi kholke ipill ki tab. dikhaai aur bola "JAKO RAKHE SAI MAR SAKE NA KOI.

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Funny cell sms

What is SARDAR?
Veeran de veer
yaaran de yaar
dushman lai talwar
siran te sohni dastar,
aapne Guru nu na bhullde,
Karde har dharam da satkar.
This is Sardar!
----------------------.
JOKES
BOSS -Well Mr.RAY,u may take an appointment after consulting my secretary.
Mr.RAY-Oh,I too have tried hard but she says,she is busy for d next 10 days.
----------------------
Ek Ajeeb Haqiqat.
100 Rupiya ka note Bahut Zyada lgta he Jab "MANDIR" Me dia jaye,
Mgr Music CDs kharidne k liye Bahut chota lgta he..
3 Mint ki Hanuman chalisaPadh na Bahot Mushkil he,
Magar 3 Ghante ki Film Dekhna Boht Aasan..
1 Day Cricket k liye Log Pagal ho Rahe he,
Magar jab Mandir ki lineThodi lambi ho jaye to Log tang Aa jate hain.
Is sms ko forwd karna Bahut mushkil hota hai,
Jab k Fizool Jokes ko 4wd krna Hmara Farz ban jata he. !!
---------------------
BUDDY JOKES
Ramu to his friend: 'I had a narrow escape today BMTC bus just passed over me!
Shamu: 'Then, how did you escape?
Ramu: 'I was under a fly-over!'
---------------------
I asked God to give me a smart and intelligent friend . . .
Then he sent you on earth . . .
Bas
Tabhi se bhagwan pe bharosa uth gaya!
---------------------
7 very rare gifts given by GOD..
Dad's hug;
Mom's luv;
Brother's fight;
Sister's care;
Lovely sleep;
Friends affection;
Lover's hurting..
Don't miss them..!!
--------------------
Dear Frnd!
m Collecting
Gandhijis Photos.
I need ur Contribution
to my Collection.
To ghar me jitne bhi 10/50/100/500 / 1000 ke note h, bhej dena. . . . . :-)
---------------------
Sheran de put sher jane jande ne, Lakhan vicho SIKH hi pehchane jande ne, Maut sahmne vekh kade kise piche lukde nai,Put "Sardaran" de kde kisi agge jhukde nai.
---------------------
"God Bless You" is such a little prayer but it means so much...It means may the Lord, with his gracious hands give u more than u have prayed for...
---------------------

JOKE OF THE DAY

AKBAR:Humare ammi-abba humse itni mohabbt krte the k,hume sulane k liye sari rat jagte the,or hum fir bhi nahi sote theBIRBAL:Tbhi ap eklote reh gaye jahanpanah
----------------
Height of "Ohh shit.." like situation:??
A guy takes blade & writes his girlfriend's name on his forearms &???
&????????
&
makes a spelling mistake..!!
-----------------
Dats called Smartness-
Ek Ladka Gadhe ke samne gir gaya. Ek khubsurat Ladki ne dekha aur kaha - Apne bade Bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?
Ladka: Ji Bhabiji !..

Q1. Agr ek din ki zindgi mile to kya magenge?
Q2. Dost aur pyar me pehli psnd?
Q3. Agr dard dene wale se pyar ho jaye to kya krenge?
Reply sooooon...
---------------------
Salesman-We sell our refrigerators at cost prices
Suprised Customer-'Then how do u make profit?'
The Salesman said-'We make our profit out of repairing them.
----------------------
Ramu-How much petrol does d tank of ur car hold?
Shamu-I don't knw.I ve only had it for 15 years n so far I ve never had enuf money to fill up d tank f my car.
----------------------
Patient 2 Dr:I need sumthing 2 stir me up,sumthn 2 put me in a fightn mood.Did u put
sumthn like dat in d prescriptn?
Dr:No need 4 dat.U ll find dat n ur bill.
----------------------
Santa-Kal Muje 5 logo ne Pita.
Banta-Fir Tu ne kya kiya!
Santa-Maine unse kaha salo ek ek karke Aao.
Banta-Phir?
Santa-Phir kya, Sabne Bari-Bari se dubara Pita.
-----------------------
Son: Mai School nahi jaunga
Mom: kyu?
Son: Naukri krunga.
Mom: 4thClass padhkar kya Kaam karega?
son: 3rd class ki ladkiyo ko tution padaunga;-)
-----------------------
Ek bar santa bina jali bidi pi raha tha..
Banta: Arey yaar bidi se koi dhuan nahi aa raha hai?
Santa: Kar di na sardaro wali baat sale ye CNG bidi hai.
-----------------------
70 saal k
unmarried
budhe ne pepar
me add diya
"RISHTA-CHAHIYE"
1 month bad
jawab aya
Is umar me
RISHTEY Nahi
FARISHTEY aate hain.
----------------------
2 sardar bank lootne gaye
par gun bhul gaye
fir bhi bank loot liya.
Kaise..?
Bank manager bhi sardar tha,
bola koi bat nahi
I trust u..
gun kal dikha dena..!
-----------------------
Typical students (like us):
flip a coin & think..
Heads- wil go 2 sleep
Tails- wil watch a movie
Stands- wil listen music
Stays in air- i wil study.
------------------------
Its a 'Say it' day.
U can say Anythin2 me which u cudn't say ever.
May it b a compliment, comment,a confession, or any cool advise..
Do Reply nw.
------------------------
GV ME A TITLE!!
-winner of heart
-inner beauty
-source of smile
-rude dude
-beautiful soul
-humerous
-sensitive
-ready 2 fght
-mis. attitude
Plz rply b honest.
------------------------
Sum people Msg U bcos they hav nthng to do, Others Msg U so tat U'll Msg them too, but me, I do bcos Msging is my way of saying " I REMEMBER U "
------------------------
If girl vomits, her parents asks :kaun tha wo kamina?
If Boy vomits :kamine kaha pikar aya hai
Moral: no matter who vomits, boys are always kamine.
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Fun msg

Ladko ki morning prayer:
Radhe Radhe
kudi fasade..
Hare murari
mile kuwari..
Jai hanuman
pat jaye meri jaan
Wahe guru da khalsa
bas ek Kudi di Lalsa
---------------------
Ek Car Se takra kar ek Kabutar Behosh ho gya. Admi use ghar le gya. Pinjre me rakha. Kabutar ko hosh aaya or bola.
AAILA JAIL?
Wo CAR Wala Mar gya kya.
---------------------
Ladki: Jaan mujhe aise propose karo jaise aaj taq kisi ne na kiya ho.
Ladka: Kameeni zaleel I Love You,mujh se shadi kar ke mujhe tabah kar de kambakhat.
----------------------
Top3 College's Rules:-
1)B quiet in d Class coz,othrs r Sleeping
2)Don't forget 2 cary Urbook coz it acts as A Pillow
3)Keep d campus Clean.SO B absent!!!
----------------------
T i T A N i C
_ll__ _,-"::::::::"=,
_/t__ "___________/
RakhLe Gift Hai. Next Time TajMahaL Bhej Denge.iS Bar Thoda Hath Tang Hai..
----------------------
Aasman me chidiya ud rhi h
Fur...
Fur...
Fur...
Fur...
Fur...
Are mobile me kya dekh rhe hain,Aasman me dikhiye na!
----------------------
LOVE JOKES
DAD-You can't marry that young man.He doesn't make more than Rs. 5000 per month.
DAUGHTER-Oh,but Daddy, a,month flies by so fast,when u're in love.
----------------------
Man:Do you know English? Sardar:Yes! Man:Okay tell me what's the opposite of Nag Panchami? Sardar:Nag did not punch me....:)
---------------------
1 Bar Hichki Aye - Smjna I m remembring u.
2 Br aye to - I want 2 meet U.
3 Br aye to - I Mis u.
Agr fir aye
To plz pani p lijiyega!
Mjhe or b kam hai!!!
---------------------
Na Mujhe Kisi Ka Dil Chahiye
Na Mujhe Kisi Dard Ki Talash Hai,
Mere Phone Ko Jo Apna Samjh Ke Recharge Krvawy
Mujhe To Us Dost Ki Talash Hai...
----------------------
Don se dosti "Jaan ka khatra"
Pagal se dosti "dimag ko khatra"
Ladki se dosti "dil ko khatra" or
Mujhse dosti "wqt bewaqt SMS KA khatra...
---------------------
1 dost 2sre dost se:yaar aaj meri girlfrnd ka b.day h,kya du?
Dusra dost:dekhne m kaisi h?
Pehla dost:Achi h.
Dusra dost:Mera number de de.
----------------------
Khush to bahut honge ki hamara sms aa gya par hum bhi bahut chalaak hai humne padhne layak kuch likha hi nahi Ha..Ha..Ha..
---------------------
On ur single smile, thousands of people die....so keep smiling & reduce population...
But
Don't smile in front of ur mirror-warna lene ke dene pad jayenge.
---------------------
Red Rose: Pyar k liye
Yellow Rose :
Frndship k liye
White Rose :
Shanti k liye
Aur Tumhare liye ?
?
?
"NIMA ROSE"
GARME MAY 2 BAR NHANE KE LIYE..
--------------------
1 baar 1 terrorist ne 1 budhiya k paas bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye
Budhiya bomb
Budhiya bomb...
Wo sarma gayi aur boli...
Wo to mein jawani me thi...
------------------
Santa-ladki fasani ati h?
Banta-nhi
Santa-seekh:
pehle kagz ka jahaz bna fir use clas me uda de.Jb mam puche to ldki ka nam lga de.BAS FAS GAI LADKI
------------------
`U R LUCKY'..
( )
_; (
( )
UdasHo!
\e
_; /
/e
YaNarazHo
_; /
KyaHuwa?
(e
_; )
(e
HumFirMilenge!
( )
_; )
(e
TumhariKasam!
((
_; )
((
Ab To Muskurao!
Reply is must...
------------------
( '.')
<)(> I Mis
!! U

( '.')
!)(? Do u miss
!! me?


(-_-) No..?
!)(>
?/
Ok Fine!
Paise do is SMS k abhi...
---------------------
Jaha dosti =vaha pyar
Jaha pyar=vaha mohabat
Jaha mohabat = vaha Ishq
Jaha Ishq = vaha judai
Jaha judai = Vaha Dard
Jaha Dard = Vaha
Moov Lga Lena yaad se ok!
----------------------
smile is a cooling system of heart,sparking system of eyes ,lightning system of face,relaxing system of mind ,so activate your all system and keep smiling.
------------------
Spne sch ho jate hai, Hr DUA kam aati hai, VISHVAS ki dor hai aisi APNO ko kheech lati hai . I want to see you happy always.

------------------
Chand Taare achhe nhi lagte,Duniya k nazare achhe nhi lagte.Ya mere Khuda,Koi samjhaye tumare Maa-Baap ko,Ki ab tum KUWARE achhe nhi lagte.
------------------
.--,!""""""""""""!
/ - ,! Yadein, .!
"-O-'"""'""""O'O"-"
Pura truck Yadon se full karke bhej rahe hai phir
Kbhi mat kehna ki Yad Nhi karte.
------------------
Previous............................................................... Next

Too funny

Flower says: love me ,Book says: read me, Time says: Enjoy me, Life says: make me, Reality says: learn me, But I say : Just remember me...
--------------------
Kya lekar aye the?
Kya lekar jaoge?
Mujhe msg na karke
kitna paisa bachoge?
Itna paisa bacha kar,
kya
MOBILE ME CNG LAGWAOGE.
--------------------
,.+""-., ,.-""+,
#( -_-) (-_- )#
*>")("<>")("<*
""-.,*,.-""
I am sending these two little angels. Jo
chahe wo maang lo....
---------------------
Beth Kr Mehbooba ki Zulfon K Saye Me aisa josh Aya,
Wah, Wah
Beth Kr
Mehbooba Ki
Zulfon K Saye
Me Aisa Josh Aya,
Phir
Papa Ne Dekh Liya Or
ICU
MeHoshAya.
---------------------
SMS jake unko "HELLO" kehna, Smile kare to "SO SWEET" kehna, Delete kre to "KATTI" kr lena or padne k baad agr hame "MISS" kre to same 2 u kehna.
---------------------
I love people.I love my family,my friends...but inside myself is a place where I live all alone n thats where u renew ur springs that never dry up.
---------------------
@_____ ,:¤:,
/____/\ ,;¤;¤;,
I_::_,I,;:,l ,_")("_
######,,,###
Beutiful house My special Gift for U. Go inside & sleep well.
"GuD Nyt"
-------------------
Girlfriends are like an Internet Virus!
They enter ur Life,
Scan ur Pocket,
Transfer ur Money,
Edit your Mind,
Download their Problem & Delete your Smile..!
------------------
Ladka ladki dekhne gaya vo dono baat karne ke liye Room me gaye Girl-darte darte boli "Bhaiya" aap kitne Bhai behan ho.Boy- abtak to3the par ab4ho gaye.
------------------
Sardar called customer care- ji meri bhains mera sim kha gyi aur bhag gyi. Custmer care- to main kya karun? Sardar-ji ye puchhna tha k roaming to nhi lagegi..!! .
------------------
Boy & Girl in a Restaurent.
BOY:
I Love U.
GIRL:
I don't.
BOY:
Think again.
GIRL:
I Told U,No No No
BOY:
Waiter,ALAG ALAG BIL LANA.
GIRL:
OK,I LOVE U to..
---------------------
Dimag
Hai
To
Jawab
Dena,
Tumare
Chacha
Ki
Bhabhi
Ki
Saas
Ke
Bhai
ki
Biwi
Ki
Saas
Ke
Pati
ke
Jamai
ke
Pote
Ki
Maa
Ki
Nanand
ka
Bhai
Apka
Kaun?
Its challange ! !
------------------------
Full form of 'GIRL':-
G-gola dene me aage.
I-innocent sirf shakl se.
R-rone ki automatic machine.
L-ladai me sbki nani!
Phir bhi duniya inki diwani..
--------------------------
(((''''?'''')))
<(( @) (@ ))>
(; <._.> ;)
((,==,))
Daro mat
Kabhi-kabhi MOBILE par sms Padne waale ki tasweer aa jaati hai.
---------------------------
Whoevr u mayb, whrevr life leads u,
U r alwys
A father's child
A family's future
A fren's heart,
A lover's soul,
N sum1's life.
B d best of Evrythng!.
---------------------------
Life is like math, Friends ko plus karo, dushman ko minus, khushion ko multiply, Gham ko divide, aur hamesha Muskurao lyk me!
---------------------------
Hm dusro ki zindgi jiya nhi krte, peechha kisi ka kiya nhi krte, wo to apki kismt achhi h wrna hm kisiko khud call kiya nhi krte. Sachchi
----------------------------
This is a cholocate msg 4 a dairy milk person frm a 5star frnd 4 a melody reason @ kit-kat time on a munch day in a perk mood 2 say ......Hv a Gud Day
----------------------------
, , , achabhala
('.') dost tha,
<')o('>
_/''O_
Maine

<')o('> Gardan
_/'"O_ uda di,

SMS nahi krta tha...
tum bhi soch lo?
-------------------------------
Kal 124 logo ko bevkuf banaya
Kaise?
..niche dekho
Bas
Aise
he
ab
125....
---------------------------
Santa Cycle Ki Break Hath Me Lekar Nach Raha Tha.Man-Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho? Santa-Oye! BREAK DANCE.
---------------------------
10+2 krne k baad father :- ab tum kya krna chahti ho,
ladki :- BBA
father:-very good Per ye BBA hota kya hai...
ladki:-Boyfrnd ki Bike pe Aish...
SplY 4 u
---------------------------
When I send u a SMS, zaroori nahi ki u also have to do the same. You can also send me na fruits, chocklats, icecreams, sweets, pizza n pasta. chaliye shuru kriye bhejna!
---------------------------
Ab to iqrar kr lo
or na tadpao.
ab to bata do.
or na sharmao.
k
Are bol b do
ki
ki
aap ham se
ham se
ham se
b zyada Kanjus ho sms karne me
----------------------------

LET ME TEST
YOUR MATHS!
(U can read only 1 time, ok)
2+7
+9
-5
+4
+8
-2
+5
-4
+8
&
now the Question-
How many tims,U pres d button?
Previous............................................................... Next

Sms funs

.***.
* *
* 1 *
'***'
Ye lo 1 Rs Ka coin h & send me sms..
Kanjusi ki bhi koi
hadh hoti hai..
Or khabardaar iss
1 rupe se TOFFY
kharidi to.
-----------------------
Tum Paas Aaye,
yu Muskuraye,
Apne 32 Dant
Mujhko Dikhaye
Dekh k Mera Dil
Phoot Phoot k Rota Hai
Yar Tumse
BRUSH B
Theek se Nahi Hota h.
------------------------
Sine me dil,Dil me dard,Dard me yaqin,Yaqin me khayal,Khayal me khwab,Khwab me tasvir.Tasvir me sirf aap..
ooh itna Darwana khawab;->
------------------------
gabbar thakur se: thakur ye ath mujhe dedeee.
thakur:lele kutte lele,
pehle se 2 hath hai, 2 or lekar shera wali mata banega kya?
------------------------
When apple is green it is ready 2
"PLUCK"
wen girl is 18 she's ready 2
"VOTE"
DIRTY MIND.
------------------------
Ek shakhs jo hume zindagi se pyara hai, Bagair uske wiran ye jahan sara hai. Wo kya tha, kya hai, kya khabar, Jaisa bhi hai bas hamara hai.
------------------------
Jakhm to bhar jayenge wakt ke chalte, par wakt ke saath zamaane ke naakhoon bhi to badh jayenge.
------------------------
Dil ko hasane me waqt kitna lagta hai,aansu bahane me waqt kitna lagta hai,aap ko hamari yaad aati hi nahi warna, ek sms krne me waqt hi kitna lagta hai...
------------------------
Ques:
Hw much space in ur heart 4me?
Choose-
100%(write a song & send me)
99%(cal)
75%(send sms)
50%(1 mis cal)
0%(no answr)
Let c wat u Do..
------------------------
Ai Zindgi youn mujhse DAGA na kar, Main zinda rahoon bina uske ye DUA na kar, koi dekhta hai use, to hoti hai jalan, Ai hawa tu bhi use CHHUAA Na kar...
------------------------
Rapidfire!!
Jo dil me pehla word aaye fill kar dena.
L0ve:__
Life:__
Hot:__
Desire:__
Pain:__
Un4getble:__
Dearest:__
1crush:__
Me:__
DO Reply.
-----------------------
JUDGE-U ve been arrested for driving at 100 kms an hour.Wat ve u to say?
CONVICT-It was an emergency
JUDGE-Wat sort f emergency?
CONVICT-It was a stolen car.
-----------------------
JUDGE-Have u anything to offer d court before the sentence is passed on you?
A man about to be convicted said 'No, ur honour.My lawyer took all d money I had!'
-----------------------
Evry tear is a sign of BROKEN HEART. Every silence is a sign of LONELINESS.
Evry smile is a sign of HAPPINESS. My Evry reply is a symbol of trust 4 u.
-----------------------
Bhuloge to yaad dilayenge,Aansu Baha0ge to Hasayenge,ruthoge to Manayenge.Hum 3 IDIOTS ke BABA RANCHOORDAS hai,GHAJINI nahi jo 15 min me bhul jayenge.
-----------------------
Gals heart is lyk
MOBILE,
Boy's heart is lyk
WATER....
Eithr watr falls on mobile....
Or mobile falls in watr
.
WAAT! MOBILE KI HI LAGTI HAI ....!!
--------------------------
Doctor Pagal se: "Tum Pagal Q huey"?
Pagal: Maine 1 shadi shuda aaurat se Shadi ki,uski Jawan Beti se Mere Baap ne Shadi ki,
Yu Meri wo Beti meri Maa ban gai
Un k ghar Beti hui To wo meri Behn hui Magar main uski Naani ka pati tha is liye wo meri Nawasi bhi hui.
isi Tarha mera Beta apni Daadi ka Bhai ban gaya or main apne Bete ka Bhanja aur mera Baap mera Damaad ban gaya aur mera Beta apne Dada ka Sala ban gaya aur
Dr:Abey chup kar saale kya mujhe b Pagal kerega,
--------------------------
Good News! Ab aap is SMS k zarye apne Mobile set par Star Plus bilkul free dekh sakte hain. Wo b 24 hrs. Neeche dekhiye..
-
-
-

*+
--------------------------
Santa eats 8 Butter Naan in party and sufering from KABZ.
Prayng n crying in Toilet
'He bhagwan, ya to JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de,
--------------------------
3 idiots would have been a evn bigger hit if kareena would have also once said "jahaan pannaah tussi gr8 ho, tohfa kubool karo" .
--------------------------
Santa ke ghar chor aaya!Srdar ne dekh liya to chor bhagne lga!Srdar bhagte-2 chor se bhi aage nikal gya aur bola Ek to chori,upar se humse RACE.
--------------------------
Tufaan se panga lena magar humse nahi,
kyunki jin Tufaano me logo ke aashiyane ujad jaate hai,
Unhi Tufaano mai mahi apne KACHHE" sukhate hai:-D:-D:-D..
Previous............................................................... Next

Fun jokes

Jokes
Teacher 2 santa: Jis admi ko sunai na de use English me kya kahenge?
Santa: Jo marzi keh do...Usko konsa kuch sunai dega....!!
------------------------
Doctor to his patient:Oh,you seem to work very hard,what is your profession?
Patient:I try house breaking.
Doctor:Then better change to pick-pocketing!
------------------------
CRAZY QUOTES
A Mother takes 20 years to make her son INTELLIGENT...BUT
It takes A GIRL 2 minutes to make him look stupid.
------------------------
CHANGU-Wat kind of dog is tat ?
MANGU- Police dog.
CHANGU- He doesn't don't look like a police dog.
MANGU- Of course he doesn't. He does undercover work.
------------------------
Wash ur Mobile
Cut it Into Small Pices
Fry it
Add Spices N Some Oil
ur Mobile Pickle is ready
apKe Mobile Se Sms to Hote nhi achar hi dal lijiye....
------------------------
(LOVE EXAM) Wo___bhi kya___thi, jis___me wo___thi us___k basne se mere dil ki___'___ thi. In 7blankMe 1hi word ata h wo word kya hai? rply its a chalange.
Ans-Dhadkan
------------------------
Jahan Ki Gurbat Me Sukun Nahi Ayega.
Gam-E-Tohin Se Kubul Nahi Ayega.
Maklul Ki
Fitrat He Ye Kafir,
Dimag Fat Jayega Par Sher Samaj Nahi Ayega..
------------------------
Santa Banta se: Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain? Banta: Pata nahi bhai, meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi.
------------------------
American ne India ka masaledar dinner liya or agli subah toilet se niklte hi bola,Ab samjha?,Indians Q pani se dhote hai..Tissue pepar to aag pakad lega.
------------------------
If i die n go 2hevn n god asks me wats my last wish,i wil pause 4a while 2 luk 4u n,wen i c u r cryin i wud say prabhu ye drama kar rahe hein,inhe b bula lo...
------------------------
Teacher: prsang sahit vyakhya karo-"tenu jhapia pava jee karda"
Student: Ye line bollywood k prasidh kavi sant shri akshay kumar ji ki rachna 'sing is king' ki prasidh kavita "jee karda" se li gayi h, Is kavita mein kavi jb bhi devi katrina ko gulabi rang k kapdo mai nachte hue dekhte h to unka sabar toot jata h aur wo kehte hai hey devi mera tenu jhapia paan nu bda jee karda h, Aur in lines se hmko kavi k kamine hone ka ehsaas hota h...
------------------------
Student: sir ye MARDANA KAMZORI kya hoti h? Teacher: Beta Agr Aap k khwab mai koi Ladki aye or waha pr B uski IZZAT bach Jaye..to Ise MRDANA KAMZORI kehte he.
------------------------
LITTLE KUKI
KUKI-Even the President sits with his head bowed in front of my dad
SID-Wow,Wats ur dad?
KUKI-He is a barber.
------------------------
Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha
Banta-kya kr rhe ho?
Santa-Lassi bana raha hu
Banta-isi liye log hum par joke banate hai
Itni Lassi tera Baap Piyega?..
------------------------
JOKE
At a party..
Someone yelled-All married guys plz stand next to d person who has made ur life worth living
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
-------------------------
Walk on ur own path
love in ur own ways
talk in ur own words
do wat ur heart says...
N den,
1 day ur parents will say
NIKALJA GHAR SE.. ;-)
--------------------------
Some foolish people say: "Behind every succesful man, there is a woman". But how many knows the fact- 'Women choose Only SUCESSFULL men'
--------------------------
JOKES
Guy- Every time I have an argument with my wife, she gets HISTORICAL.
Friend- You mean HYSTERICAL?
Guy- No, historical. She brings up my past.
--------------------------
LOVE v/s EXAM.
LOVE: Lots of thoughts in mind,bt no guts 2 express.
EXAM: Lots of guts 2 express, bt no thoughts in mind....
---------------------------
Iss sansar mein sirf post-men kyun hain,
post-women kyun nahi hain?
kyoki wo delivery dene me 9 mahine lagati hain..!!
---------------------------
FUN
Name 3 stages of life?
TEENAGE-Have Time n Energy..but No Money
WORKING AGE-Have Money n Energy..but No Time
OLD AGE-Have Time n Money..but no Energy.
---------------------------
FUN WITH CHANGU
CHANGU- I just saw a guy stealing my car.
POLICE- Did you get a good look at him?
CHANGU- No but I saw his NUMBER PLATE.
---------------------------
FUN
I wanted 2 put sumthing incredibly
Beautiful,
Sweet,
Nice,
Sensitive
And Funny
On your screen,
But unfortunately
I DON'T FIT ON UR SCREEN.
---------------------------
Arranged marriage is
"While u r walking unfortunately a snake bites u"
But
Love marriage is gaoing to the snake & saying,
Katle...katle aja katle na:-D
---------------------------
FUN
Great students are like US
work on d principle of rockets
It doesnt mean we aim for d SKY
It means we dont start studying unless our tails on FIRE.
---------------------------
1 Sardar apne sir pe Tota bitha kar ja rha tha.
Raste me 1 aadmi ne rok ke pucha,
Bhai ye konsa Janwar hai.
TOTA bola-SARDAR hai saala...
---------------------------
Ek SARDAR let kar gane ga rha tha, 2-3 gane ga kar wo ulta let kar gane laga. 2nd sardar : yar ulta let kar kyo gane laga. 1st: pehle A side thi ab B side hai..
---------------------------
FUN
Genie to MANGU
Ask for anything,
But ur wife will get double of wat u get...
MANGU-Give me A CRORE n beat me till Im HALF DEAD.
---------------------------
FUN
BOY-Ur the sunshine of my life,
Without U life is cloudy,
Ur in my heart like rain water 4 barren land
GIRL-Janu,Is this a proposal or WEATHER REPORT?
----------------------------
"Alcohol contains female hormones"
PROOF: aftr drinkng..
1. men talk unnecesarily,
2.become over emotional
3.drive badly
4.stop thinking
5. Fight 4 nothing
----------------------------
Read at ur own risk.
Who is the leader of ducks?
?
Who?
Who
Ans:Frog!
Y?
Why?
Because frog is
"Main-duck"!!
-----------------------------
Previous............................................................... Next