Funtush sms

TOT FOR THE DAY- 'Practice makes man perfect'. But nobody is perfect. So why practice...?
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TOT FOR THE DAY- Light travels faster than sound.This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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If "CHEESE" is great wid "PIZZA"
& "SRK" wid "KAJOL"
"HRITHIK"wid "DANCE"den
"SAGAR" wid _ _ _ _ ??
Plz fill wat clicks in ur mind first! Do reply soon
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TEACHER- If u have 18 potatoes, how will u divide them equally between 6 ppl?
PAPPU- I guess I'd boil them, and mash them and then divide.
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Teacher- Correct d sentence.A bull and a cow IS grazing in d field.
Student- A COW and a BULL is grazing in the field.
Teacher- How? Student- LADIES FIRST.
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HILAROIUS
A politician visited a Jail n began delivering a speech to d convicts. They refused to listen to him, saying it is not included in d prison sentence.
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When girl cheats a boy,he suicides
Hence girls kill a lyf
But when boy cheats a girl
a baby is born
Hence boys give a lyf
Moral:Boys are kind hearted.
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POLICE JOKES- A Traffic cop stops a guy for speeding.'Ive been waiting all day for you,says the cop. The guy replies, 'Well I've got here as fast as I can.
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Mother 'Don't call your sister STUPID. Tell her you're sorry.' Son- 'OK I'm sorry you're stupid, Sister.'
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QUICK WIT
Have trouble getting up in the morning?
A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
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FUN WITH CHANGU
Did you here what Changu said when he was invited to a BARbeCUE?
'No thanks I don't want to wait in line for a hair cut.'
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FILM EXTRA-Wud u get my signatures on d contract,sir?
PRODUCER-A verbal contract is enuf.
FILM EXTRA-But,last I'd a verbal contract n I drew a verbal salary.
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Father to his naughty son.'Do not make mischiefs.When you do, my one hair turns white.' The boy remarked 'Now, I understand why Grandpa has all his hair white!'
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Child went 2 a doctor n told him about frequent pain in his cheek.D doctor enquired about d time when it pains d most.He said,'When d teacher slaps on my face!'
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ARTIST-Dis is my new painting called Businessmen at work.Its a piece of realism.
CUSTOMER-I don't see any of d men at work.
ARTIST-Tat is d realism part f it.
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A young man went to see his doctor wid a bad attack f shakes.D doctor looked at him n asked'Drunk?' The man said, 'Okay doctor, I'll come back when u are sober'
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Two friends met after a long time n enquired about their married life. 1st one said-My wife is an angel.The other said-U r very lucky.Mine is still with me!
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Servant 2 his master-I am leavn d Job.U don't trust me.
Master:But I leave all d home keys wid u
Servant:Rite,but they dont fit the almirah wer u keep CASH!
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FUN
My therapist told me the way 2 achieve true inner peace is 2 finish wat I start.So for 2day,I ve finishd 2 bags f chips.I feel better already.
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A man eloping with his lady love,asked d cab driver how much d fare is
Driver-Tat is not necessary Sir.
Lover- But,Y?
Driver-The lady's father settled d fare
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FARMER-I can't decide between a cycle or a cow for my farm.
FRIEND-Won't u look silly riding a cow.
FARMER-I'd look even sillier trying 2 milk a bicycle.
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DAD-Ur teachr said tat u r fast. Always ahead of othr students.Hw cud u ve failed in ur exam?
RANI-He was trying 2 tell u abt my running practice in d race
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CHANGU- MANGU, did ur wife have much to say about you coming home drunk last night?
MANGU- Na but that didnt stop her from talking for two hours at breakfast.
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WISE CRACKS- To the optmist- the glass is half full. To the pessimist - the glass is half empty. To the engineer- the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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WISE CRACKS - A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.
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UNIVERSAL TRUTH..'We are just friends'
Girls use this sentence when they want to start the relation. Boys use it when they want to end the relation.
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