Funny sms

A hypnotist hypnotised the whole audience in the hall with a pendulum. Suddenly, pendulum fell down. He said "SHIT" and it took 3 days to clean the hall!:-P
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1 Moti Aurat ne chor pakda or us k upar beth gai
Nokar se:Ja Police ko bula la
Nokar:Meri Chapal ni mil rhi malkin
Chor Chilaya:Saale Meri pehen le par Jaldi ja
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ladki- maa gao me film wale aaye hein.
maa- beti andar aja inki niyat kharab hoti h
ladki- ma john or abhishek b aye h
ma- to beti apne bhai ko b andar le aa
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Santa ik Ladki nu: Hor Sohneyo ki Haal ne?
Ladki: Jo Teri Behn de ne!!
Santa: acha tenu v tattiaan lagiaa ne!! ;-;)
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DOCTOR JOKES
'Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?'
'I can't say.' Replies the Doc, 'I never make RASH promises.'
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Jung me santa ne bullet proof jacket ki jagah Macher dani pehni Banta-Aisa Q.? Santa-Jis me macher tak nai gus Sakta us me goli kya Ghusegi.
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Haryanvi jaat riding a cycle & hits a girl. Girl:ghanti nahi maari jaati kya? Jaat: re chhori baawli dikhe? Poori cycle maar di ab ghanti alag se maaru kay.
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BEING FLIRTY- BOY-How did you get to be so beautiful? GIRL- I must've been given your share.
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Best msg ever. A baby fish asked her mother: Why cant we live on earth?
Mother fish: Earth is not the place for fishes. It's made for sel-fishes...
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BEING FLIRTY
BOY- Can I buy you a drink?
GIRL- Actually Iwould rather have the money.
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Why Tendulkar
married a older women
n Kumble married a
divorced women?
becoz batsmen love
loose balls n spinners
love used balls..!!
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RIDDLE
Q.What did 1 magnet say to the other magnet?
....
....
A.I find you very attractive.
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SUHAGRAAT ko Pati theek se sex nahi kar paya. SAAS: Bahu kal suhagrat kaisi rahi ? BAHU: Maaji 'Grah Pravesh' toh ho gaya, par 'Grah Shanti' nahi hui.
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Ishq ne insan ko kya se kya bana diya,Kisi ko kavi to kisi ko katil bana diya,
2 phol ka bojh utha na sakti thi MUMTAZ aur SHAHJAHAN ne uspe TAJMAHAL banwa diya
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RIDDLE
Name 3 consecutive days without using the words Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday or Sunday?
..
..
Ans-Yesterday,Today and Tomorrow.
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Tailor ki wife boli-vacation me mujhe darjiling dekhna h! Tailor pant utar k bola"vacation pe kyu darling?abhi dekh le darji ka ling
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A point 2 ponder-"u may lv ur girlfriend or wife very deeply"..but,u cannot express it more than...6-7 inches deep.
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Isse badi Atankwadi Ghatna aur kya ho sakti hai?..
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
Ki
Santa k Potty dhone k Lotey mai koi Tezab daal gya..;-)
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PJ DEEJAY
NASA-Congrats DEEJAY.
U are selected to go to the moon tomorrow.
DEEJAY-U are cheating me.
NaSA-Wat?
DEEJAY-Tomorrow is NO moon day.
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PJ DEEJAY
DOCTOR-Ur suffering from depression
Dont keep anything with u that worries u a lot.
DEEJAY-Ok,I just threw away ur bill.
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MaujMasti..
Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr:Ye kaise Hua? Santa:Main Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha, kisi ne kaha-"Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo..!?"
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