Mast Laughing

Attitude rocks.
"I Failed in some subjects in xam,but my frnd pased in all. Nw, he is an engineer in microsoft & i am the owner of microsoft"-Bill gates
Believe in urself...
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Doctr-tabiyat kaisi hai
Santa-pehle se zyada khrab hai
Doc-dawai kha li thi
Santa:nai dawai ki sheeshi bhari hui thi
Dr-i mean dawai le li thi
Santa-ji apne di mne le li.
Dr-bewkoof dwai pee li thi?
santa-nai dwai to lal thi...
Dr-abe pagal dwai ko pee lia tha? santa-nai peelia to mjhe tha :-)
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1 murde se jab uski dastan puchhi gai to usne kuchh is tarah bayan ki- hume to apno ne luta gairo me kahan dum tha,
Meri haddi bhi waha tuti jahan hospital band tha,
Mujhe woh ambulance mili jisme petrol kam tha,
Mujhe rikshe me bithaya kyonki kiraya kam tha,
Mujhe Dr. ne uthaya narso me kaha dum tha,
Mujhe jis bed par litaya uske niche bam tha,
Mujhe bam ne udaya goli me kanha dam tha,
Mujhe sadak par he dafnaya kyonki kabristan me bhi function tha...
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Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya.
Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?
Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or me Out Ho Gya.
Banta: shit Yar.
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Consequences of American life style..
wife rushed in 2 house screaming her husband-"Darlng, Come quick.. Ur kids n my kids r beating our Kids.!!"
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Diff.between new couples & old couples? New couples "LIPS"mila k sote h,or old couples "HIPS" mila k..

Definition of Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Lady 2 dentist: Oooh.. daant nikalwane se to pregnant hona jada aasan hota hai.
Dentist: jaldi soch lo fir me chair usi hisaab se set karunga....!!!!!
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Pati k Marne k Next day,Wife Ne Paper Me Ad diya
"Antim Sanskar Me Shamil Hue Sab Logo Ko Thanx"
FROM:
REENA(32)
Height-5'4",36/24/36 Gora Rang
*Bacche Nhi hai
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A VERY FUNNY QUOTE
"Come like a Racer,
Sit like a Yogi,
&
Go like a King...!
Nw u'll ask "Whats funny?
This slogan was written on a....
TOILET DOOR
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man:bhagwan india se america tak sadak bna do.
God: kyu....
man:vaha mera beta rehta h or meri wife uske paas jana chahti h..
God:ye mushkil h or kuch mango..
man: meri wife ki budhhi badal do..
God:sadak sigle line banani h ya double line...
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POLICE JOKES- A Traffic cop stops a guy for speeding.'I've been waiting all day for you,' says the cop. The guy replies, 'Well I've got here as fast as I can.'
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A man looses evrything bcoz of drinking;
He sees empty beer botles & smashes d 1st one swearing
"u r d reason i dont have a wife",
Smashes 2nd one saying
"u r d reason i dont have a job."
3rd bottle,he notices it was sealed & full of beer,he says
"STAND ASIDE I KNOW U R NOT INVOLVED."
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Girl in da party, to man:
excuse me kya aap mere face se ek cheez hata sakte hain?
man: (khush ho ke) ha bolo
girl: apni kutte jaisi nazar !

A very imp message from God to all men and women-Lying with somebody on bed & screaming
"OH MY GOD..!
OH GOD..!
OH GOD..!"
will not be considered as PRAYER
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Ek aadmi ne zoo me 3 zubaane bolne wala totaa dekha Jo english, hindi aur haryanvi bolta tha.
Usne 3 zubane test karni chahi.
Aadmi- who are u?
Totaa- I am parrot.
Aadmi- Tum koun ho?
Totaa- Mein totaa hoon.
Aadmi - Tu kaun se re?
Totaa- Teri maa ka khasam su saale, ek baar me samajh na aawe ke.
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Saas: Bahu naya chawal aya hai, kaisa hai ?
Bahu: Ekdm apke Ladke jaisa, chadhate hi pak jata hai or pani chhod deta hai, Turant utarna padta hai !
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Bhagwan Ne Aurat Ko
Sunder Bnaya,
khubsurat Dimag Dia
Hirni C Aakhe
Gulab Se Hoth
Pyar Bhara Dil Diya
Fir..
Juban Dekar
Sab Par Pani Fer Diya:-P
:-)
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Teacher: Sb se jyada calcium kis dudh me hai? Boy:16sal ki ladki k dudh me..Q k ispe moo lagao to jism k un hisso mein b jaan aajati hai jisme haddi nahi hoti..

Ma:Beta paper kida hoya?Beta:Bas rehn de ched na darda nu,satho dard sunaya nhi jana.Ma:Te tere veer da?Beta:Eh jo slli-slli aundi e hawa,oh v kite ronda hovega.

SantavKo uska Sasur Jute Mar RahaTha
Man-Q Mar Rahe Ho?
Sasur-maine ise Hospital Se SMS Kiya,TUM BAAP BAN GYE ho.
Isne Apne Sare Doston Ko Frwd kr diya :-)
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Santa made a cal 2 da hospital 2 enquire bou' hiz pregnant wife.But da cal wnt 2 a Crickt stadium. He askd.. 'wat iz da conditn?' Santa hd a heart attck aftr he got da answr.. "7 r olready out.3 more stil 2 cum.first 1 was a duck..!!!
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Husband makes a peg of whisky & shout on wife:
"PEE ISKO" Wife: "Chhiiiiii" "Kitna Kadva hai."?
Husband: "Aur tu sochti hai ki main roz AISH krta hu
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Fighter pilot santa kamyabi k baad apna jahaaj land karne pe bohat khush hua..
Niche utarne pe staff ne usey hatho hath lia aur airman uski wardi utarne me help karne lge..
Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara h..
Airman: Wo sab to theek hai, lekin sir ji apne 1 galti kar di..
Santa :Kaun si galti??
Airman: Bas aap isi khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gye hain.. @
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Santa plane land hote hi chillane laga-Banglore aaya banglore aaya Balle Balle,
Air hostess-hello sir.B silent.
Santa-Ok, anglore aaya anglore aaya alle alle.
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Jokes
TEASERS- If Some1 asks me whom do I love d most?
I wud sit next to u put my arm around u and aay proudly, I Love Animals Especially this Monkey.
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Mouse Marige song,
CHUHE ka SEHRA suhana lgta h,
CHUHIYA ka to DIL diwana lgta h,
pal bhar me aise Kutarte h kapde,
ab to hr kapda purana lgta he,,,?
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Memories play vry confusing
role in everybody's life;They make u laugh when u remember d time u cried..,But they make u cry when u remember d time u laughed..
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Never kiss a doctor she said next,never kiss a lawyer she said objection,always kiss a teacher she said do it 5 times and revise it tommorow.
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Teacher to Electronics Students
NAADE ko English mai kya kehte hai ?
Student:- P.H.D.
Teacher: Kya Matlab ?
Student - Pejama Holding Device
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Y u laughing

Jokes
Employee1: I think the new cashier is dishonest. Employee 2: You shouldn't judge by appearances. Employee 1: Im not. I'm judging by disappearances!
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Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!' 'Do you drink a lot?' 'Not really - I spill most of it!'
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Jokes
Definition of Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Only 842 girls left for every 1000 boys...
Save girls !!
We can save the tigers later...
Sher chahiye ya Bandi...??
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Bald Man to Stylist in Beauty Shop: If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me pain,I'll pay you Rs.5000. Stylist said ok and shaved her head.
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Papa-Ye kya tmhre maths me out of 100 me 1 mrks aye h
Son-Jb irado me ho dum to hoslo me q nhi
P-Wht?
S-Srf 2 zero ka farak h papa aa jaynge..
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Man on phone What time does library open?Reply: 9 A.M. Man: So late? Reply: U want to get in before 9? Man: I don't want to get in. I want to get out.

JOKE OF THE DAY

A SENSEFULL STORY..
A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle,when he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop..
He called the surgeon and said.. "Look at this engine...I opened its heart,took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...
So why do I get such a small salary and u get such a huge sum....
The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close 2 his ear and said....
"Try the same when the engine is running."

Wife: Why are u worried? Doctor: I think I've finally cured Bhola. Wife: So y are u worried? Doctor:I ve given him so many pills I don't know which one worked.
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What is Tension?
1 Sunder Ladki Ne Sirf Apse Lift Maangi
Raste Me Uski Tabiyat Kharab Ho Gai
Aap Use Hospital Le Gaye
Dr. Bola - Ap Baap Banne Wale Ho
LO JI HO GAYI TENSION
Aap Bole Main Iska Baap Nhi Hu
Fir Ladki Boli Yahi Iska Baap h
OR TENSION
Police Aayi Aapka Medical Checkp hua
Report Aayi Ki Aap To Kabhi Baap Hi Nhi Ban Sakte
Apko or Tension
apne thank GOD Kha
or nikal liye
fir socha ghar pe jo 2 bache h vo kiske h
THIS IS REAL TENSION.
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Santa khaali baitha tha, Banta-ye kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-badla le raha hu
Banta-kisse
Santa-waqt se usne mujhe barbaad kiya,ab main waqt ko barbaad kar raha hu.
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Gabbar:Tatti kar basanti. VEERU:Nhi Basnti in kutto k samne mat karna ye tmhe pani b nhi denge or chutar us kutte se chatvange jo msg padh raha hai.ha.ha.ha.
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TEASERS- HELP.Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
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Masterji studnts se bole-
koi aashiqi wala sher sunao..
Studnt-
mota marta moti pe,
bhuka marta roti pe,
mastarji ki 3 betiya,
me to marta chhoti pe..
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Police stopped circus juggler for speeding, and asked juggler to perform. Another car passed by. Driver said: Oh my God, is that the new drunken driving test?
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just laugh

Chuhe ko billi lagi gori,
dono milne lge chori chori,
chuha bola gori aa khele ankh micholi,
billi ne chuhe ko khaya, or boli
"I HATE LUV STORY!"
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Santa to banta: Hum dono me kya rishta he
Banta- Jo Besan or Pakode ka he
Santa-wo kese
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai tabhi to Pakoda BANTA he
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2 ENGG. Student raat me padhte hue
1st:Kitne bje hai.
2nd: 1patthar uthakar samne k ghar par mara
1 aurat nikli boli:Kamino ab to so jao rat k 3 baj rahe he
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Minister to Sexy wife: sach sach batao tumne kitni bar humse bewafai ki?
Wife:3 bar.
MINSTER-kab aur kaha?
WIFE: jab apka heart operation hua to Dr ke saath,
Fir jab Aap jail me band hue to judge ke sath.
MINSTER-Tisri bar ?
WIFE- Jab apko sarkar banani thi Aur apke pass 78 MLA kum the

JOKE OF THE DAY

80yr Old man to Dr:
My 20yr old Wife is Pregnant.
Dr: Ek Kahani suno. 1 Shikari shikar pe jate hue jaldi me Gun ki jagah Umbrela le gaya. Jungle me uske samne Lion aaya, Usne Umbrela ka Handle Khicha or Fire kiya, Lion mar gaya..
Old man:-Impossible, Kisi aur ne Goli mari hogi.
Dr: 'EXACTLY'

Defintion of Arrange Marriage..
"Bika hua Maal vapis nahi hoga"..
&
Defintion of Love Marriage>
"Pahle Istemal kare, Phir Vishwas kare"
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Frogs had competition to reach top of hill.
All frogs shouted,its impossible.
Bt,1 frog reached d top. Hw?
He was deaf.
'Be a deaf 4 negative words'..:-)
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A boy got a job in a girls' hostel.. After one month, warden asked the boy: Why didn't u come to take ur salary?? Boy- KYA ????
Salary bhi milegi...::-.
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If Columbus had a GF, he might have never discovered America becoz...
GF: Where r u going?
With whom? How r u going? To discover what?
Why only u? What should I do wen u r gone? Can i cum wid u? Wen wil u b back?
Whr wil u stay? U'll miss me na?
COLUMBUS: Le meri maa, nahi jata! Khush....
BE SINGLE!!:-)
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Husband and wife in the middle of quarrel. Hubby: Be careful. You will bring out the animal in me. Wife: So what? Who's afraid of a mouse?
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A Bhakt:Bhagwan Mujhe Dard De,
Dukh De
Tension De
Mujhe Barbad Kar De
Mere Piche Har Mushkil Laga De
Bhagwan: Abe Sale Ek Line Me Bol
"GIRLFRIEND" CHAHIYE.
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Callgirl bimar ho Gayi
Doctor - yeh lo davai aur tumhe araam ki sakht jarurat hai, is liye 3 din bistar se
rehna.;-)
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1 Call Girl ka janaaza nikla to use dekh k 1 Aadmi bola-Chalo achchha hua.!aakhir aapas me dono milli to sahi---Kisi ne puchha kon dono.?
Wo bola-:Uski Taange.
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Gangu said to Mangu, I have invented a new kind of computer which behaves like a human being. Whenever it makes a mistake, it blames other computers.'
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sms2010

History prof was on leave
So science prof was askd 2
prepar history Q paper
Studnts stunnd seein 1 Q
DSCRIBE JHANSI ki RANI WIT A NEAT DIAGRAM & LABEL D PARTS.
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Teachr: Main kisi par bhi 1 nazar dal k bta sakti hu k wo mere bare me kya soch raha h.
1 baccha: Miss jab apko pta chal jata hoga toh badi sharm ati hogi na;
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LOVE JOKE
Difference btw biology and sociology.
A-When the baby looks like his dad, its BIOLOGY.
When the baby looks like the neighbour its SOCIOLOGY.
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RIDDLE
Name 3 consecutive days without using the words Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Saturday or Sunday?
Ans-Yesterday,Today and Tomorrow.
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OFFICE BLUES
SID-Y did u quit ur last job?
MANGU-Sickness
SID-Wat was it?
MANGU-My boss was sick of me.
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OFFICE BLUES
Notice by HR- We will not accept ur doctors statement as proof.
We believe that if u are able to go to the doctor...
You are able to go to work.
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Ladki: Condom dena.
Dukandar: Kis liye ?
Ladki: tere Baap
ko Gift dungi taaki tere jaise kam dimaag wala, dusra c*hutiya paida na ho!

OFFICE BLUES
CEO to employees
If you work hard this year
I will give you cheques for Rs. 50,000.
If you work hard again next year,
I'll sign those cheques
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Muskarate chehron ko bhi gam ho sakta hai...... Muskarate chehron ko bhi gam ho sakta hai .......... . Lawaris wastuain na chuain bomb ho sakta hai ... :))
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Jokes
Patient:Doctor I am very worried about the outcome of this eye operation.Wat are the chances? Doctor: Don't worry you wont be able to see the difference.
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Interviewer: Congrats, u r selectd...
Ur 1st Yr Salary is Rs 60,000 & Next Year it'll Be 1 lakh...
Manpreet: Ok sir..!!
Thank u very much.
I will join Nxt year.
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Ultimate bezzati
Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K intizaar me khade the,
1 bhikari aya,
Sub se paise liye
Or
Taxi me baith kar chala gaya.!!
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QUESTION of the DAY
jab PYAR aur
JANG me sab kuch
JAYAZ hai..
to PYAR me hone wala BACCHA NAJAYAZ KYU Hai...
jago grhak jago..
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Take this stR'ess test.
By A'nswering
these tWo questions..
1. Which mouse
has two legs?
Mickey mouse !
2. Which duck has 2 legs?
If you answered
Donald Duck
You are under stress...
BeCause
All ducks have two legs:-P
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Mast msgs

A boy wrote love letter wid his BLOOD to a medical girl & said Khat ka jawab zarur dena.
Girl replied:
Blood group=B+,
Hemoglobin=8,Sugar=ok,
Fees
100Rs
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Ek ladki aur Sardar ko pyar ho gaya.
LADKI: Sardarji aapko meri bilkul parwah nahi hai.
SARDAR: O'Pagli pyar karnewale kisi ki parwah nahi karte.
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Good heart and good nature are two different things, good heart can who many relationship but good nature can sustain life long relationship...
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To
The Principal
School
PUNJAB
Sir
Gal Yeh hai ki school vich
sadda aaj kal dil nahi lagda. Raat nu neend nahi aandi, Qki school vich kudiyan ghat rahi hai, Te saddi class vich 1 vi nahi hai, Jo or class vich hai o sab enni mariyal han ki dekhan nu ji ni karda aur Nakhre te asman pe han, Te Madam v koi khaas
pataka nahi han, Or kuch ni to tusi kam se kam 3-4 sohni kaam valiyan
hi rakh lawo..Twadi vaddi meherwani howangi
URs FAITHFULLY
student
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SMS OF THE DAY

Pati BANGKOK gya. Bahut dino tak nai lauta, to Patni ne SMS kiya:-
"DARLING,waha tum jo KHARID rahe ho,kya main wo yaha BECHNA shuru karu?
Nxt day pati wapis.!

Aise Q hote He?
1.Papa kahte hai beta padhai karke kuch bano to bura lagta H par yahi baat GIRLFRND kahti to lagta H care karti H.
2.GF ke liye Maa-Baap se jooth bolte hai par Maa-Baap ke liye GF se kyon nai
3.GF se shaadi ke liye parents ko chod dete H parents ke liye GF ko kyon nai chod dete
5.GF se roj raat me mobile se poochte H khana khaya ki nai ya kitni roti khaai par kya aaj tak yahi baat parents se poochi
Agr koi mistake ho jaye to unko sudaro
..so care ur parents.
Mata-Pita hi BHAGWAN.
Yaar choudhary
Is Msg Ko itna falayo jitna apne Mata - Pita se PYAR KRTE HO.
I LOVE MY Mom AND Dad

Best MOM in the world is Punjabi MOM who never let her child cry.whenever she see tears in her baby's eyes,she says "Hun rona aape band karenga k main aavan".
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A Gal checks her Lover's Mob 2 know wich name he has saved HER No: wen dialed it showed. . . . . . TIME PASS NO.8 - calling
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BUDDY JOKES- Gangu- Hey Changu. U r sweating so much while painting.
Why don't u remove ur jacket?
Changu- It says on the tin to apply 2 coats.
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Women live a Better, Longer and Peaceful Life!!!
Why?
Very Simple..
A women does not have a Girl Friend or Wife..
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LITTLE PAPPU
TEACHER-Where was the PEACE TREATY signed?
PAPPU-At the bottom of the paper.
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Maths teacher askd JOHNY- "If u hav 12 chocolates n u give 5 2 DONA, 3 2 ALICE n 4 2 ROMA, wat wil u get?" JOHNY "Sir! 3 new gal friends..!!"
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FUN
HEIGHTS of mixed emotions?
Your mother-in-law driving over a steep cliff in your brand new car.
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LITTLE PAPPU
TEACHER-Please turn on ur computer
And click MY COMPUTER
PAPPU-Where Is YOUR COMPUTER?
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LITTLE KUKI
TEACHER-Make a sentence using beans. CHIMPU-My father grows BEANS.
KUKI-We are all HUMAN BEANS.
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LITTLE KUKI
TEACHER-Hitler said nothing is impossible.
KUKI-OK Sir, please ask him to take out all the toothpaste and put it back in the tube again.
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