Mast Laughing

Attitude rocks.
"I Failed in some subjects in xam,but my frnd pased in all. Nw, he is an engineer in microsoft & i am the owner of microsoft"-Bill gates
Believe in urself...
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Doctr-tabiyat kaisi hai
Santa-pehle se zyada khrab hai
Doc-dawai kha li thi
Santa:nai dawai ki sheeshi bhari hui thi
Dr-i mean dawai le li thi
Santa-ji apne di mne le li.
Dr-bewkoof dwai pee li thi?
santa-nai dwai to lal thi...
Dr-abe pagal dwai ko pee lia tha? santa-nai peelia to mjhe tha :-)
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1 murde se jab uski dastan puchhi gai to usne kuchh is tarah bayan ki- hume to apno ne luta gairo me kahan dum tha,
Meri haddi bhi waha tuti jahan hospital band tha,
Mujhe woh ambulance mili jisme petrol kam tha,
Mujhe rikshe me bithaya kyonki kiraya kam tha,
Mujhe Dr. ne uthaya narso me kaha dum tha,
Mujhe jis bed par litaya uske niche bam tha,
Mujhe bam ne udaya goli me kanha dam tha,
Mujhe sadak par he dafnaya kyonki kabristan me bhi function tha...
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Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya.
Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?
Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or me Out Ho Gya.
Banta: shit Yar.
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Consequences of American life style..
wife rushed in 2 house screaming her husband-"Darlng, Come quick.. Ur kids n my kids r beating our Kids.!!"
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Diff.between new couples & old couples? New couples "LIPS"mila k sote h,or old couples "HIPS" mila k..

Definition of Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Lady 2 dentist: Oooh.. daant nikalwane se to pregnant hona jada aasan hota hai.
Dentist: jaldi soch lo fir me chair usi hisaab se set karunga....!!!!!
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Pati k Marne k Next day,Wife Ne Paper Me Ad diya
"Antim Sanskar Me Shamil Hue Sab Logo Ko Thanx"
FROM:
REENA(32)
Height-5'4",36/24/36 Gora Rang
*Bacche Nhi hai
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A VERY FUNNY QUOTE
"Come like a Racer,
Sit like a Yogi,
&
Go like a King...!
Nw u'll ask "Whats funny?
This slogan was written on a....
TOILET DOOR
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man:bhagwan india se america tak sadak bna do.
God: kyu....
man:vaha mera beta rehta h or meri wife uske paas jana chahti h..
God:ye mushkil h or kuch mango..
man: meri wife ki budhhi badal do..
God:sadak sigle line banani h ya double line...
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POLICE JOKES- A Traffic cop stops a guy for speeding.'I've been waiting all day for you,' says the cop. The guy replies, 'Well I've got here as fast as I can.'
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Y u laughing

Jokes
Employee1: I think the new cashier is dishonest. Employee 2: You shouldn't judge by appearances. Employee 1: Im not. I'm judging by disappearances!
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Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!' 'Do you drink a lot?' 'Not really - I spill most of it!'
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Jokes
Definition of Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Only 842 girls left for every 1000 boys...
Save girls !!
We can save the tigers later...
Sher chahiye ya Bandi...??
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Bald Man to Stylist in Beauty Shop: If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me pain,I'll pay you Rs.5000. Stylist said ok and shaved her head.
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Papa-Ye kya tmhre maths me out of 100 me 1 mrks aye h
Son-Jb irado me ho dum to hoslo me q nhi
P-Wht?
S-Srf 2 zero ka farak h papa aa jaynge..
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Man on phone What time does library open?Reply: 9 A.M. Man: So late? Reply: U want to get in before 9? Man: I don't want to get in. I want to get out.

JOKE OF THE DAY

A SENSEFULL STORY..
A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle,when he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop..
He called the surgeon and said.. "Look at this engine...I opened its heart,took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...
So why do I get such a small salary and u get such a huge sum....
The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close 2 his ear and said....
"Try the same when the engine is running."

Wife: Why are u worried? Doctor: I think I've finally cured Bhola. Wife: So y are u worried? Doctor:I ve given him so many pills I don't know which one worked.
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What is Tension?
1 Sunder Ladki Ne Sirf Apse Lift Maangi
Raste Me Uski Tabiyat Kharab Ho Gai
Aap Use Hospital Le Gaye
Dr. Bola - Ap Baap Banne Wale Ho
LO JI HO GAYI TENSION
Aap Bole Main Iska Baap Nhi Hu
Fir Ladki Boli Yahi Iska Baap h
OR TENSION
Police Aayi Aapka Medical Checkp hua
Report Aayi Ki Aap To Kabhi Baap Hi Nhi Ban Sakte
Apko or Tension
apne thank GOD Kha
or nikal liye
fir socha ghar pe jo 2 bache h vo kiske h
THIS IS REAL TENSION.
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Santa khaali baitha tha, Banta-ye kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-badla le raha hu
Banta-kisse
Santa-waqt se usne mujhe barbaad kiya,ab main waqt ko barbaad kar raha hu.
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Gabbar:Tatti kar basanti. VEERU:Nhi Basnti in kutto k samne mat karna ye tmhe pani b nhi denge or chutar us kutte se chatvange jo msg padh raha hai.ha.ha.ha.
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TEASERS- HELP.Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
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Masterji studnts se bole-
koi aashiqi wala sher sunao..
Studnt-
mota marta moti pe,
bhuka marta roti pe,
mastarji ki 3 betiya,
me to marta chhoti pe..
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Police stopped circus juggler for speeding, and asked juggler to perform. Another car passed by. Driver said: Oh my God, is that the new drunken driving test?
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SANTA TE BANTA

SANTA flight mein pilot ka headphone cheen raha tha.. Pilot: Ye kya kar rahe ho?SANTA: Saalo ticket hum le..Aur Gaane tum suno...
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Santa- Bhai Jaldi Jao Tumhare Ghar Mein Barsat Ka Pani Ghus Gaya Hai !
Banta- Kyu Jhuth Bolte Ho, Ghar K Chaabi To Mere Paas Hai.
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Santa: Phone pe itni dheemi aawaz me kiss se baat kar raha hai?
Banta: Behen hai.!
Santa: To phir itni dheemi aawaz me kiss liye?
Banta: Teri hai isliye. :-)
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Meri engagement ki Date fix ho gayi hai 25 july ko hai.

Santa ki Girl Frnd usko itna keh kar chali gayi.
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SANTA kele k chhilke se fisal kar gir gaya
Aage phir doosre chilke se fisal k gir gaya.
Ab teesre chhilke ko dekh k wo bola...?
Shit, Ab fir girna padega.
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SANTA sukhe talab me BOAT chala rha tha
BANTA-Aise logo ne hi hmara nam khrab kr rkha h agar mujhe tairna ata to whi jake marta sale ko.
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Santa k pas 1 kauva (crow) tha Wo bahut mulayam tha
To usne apne kauve ka naam kya rakha hoga?
?
Microsoft (my-crow-soft) ise kehte h technical msg.G m
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Santa naukri dhoond raha tha,
videsh se reply aa gaya...
Saare k saare bade khush...
Daru-sharu di party de dali...
Dost puchne lage bhai bata to
kaun si company hai, kitni salary hai....
Santa: English me letter aaya hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke sunana haan

"You Do not meet"
tum to milte hi nahin ho.

"our requirements"
Hume to bahut zarurat hai.

"no further correspondence"
Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahi,

"will be entertained"
Bahut khatir ki jayegi...!
:-):-)

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SANTA dialled a phone no.
A computrizd female voice said..'apke paas paryapt balance nai h..'
SANTA - Bas baby..
tumse baat ho jati h itna hi kafi h...:-)
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Santa ki behen ko daaku utha le gaye.
Logo ne kaha ki daaku khatarnak hai,
khali hath mat jana behen ko bachane!
Fir
kya
Santa 2 kilo aam le gaya..!
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Punjab Airline di Airhostess: sir kee lawoge? Banta: badam milk, kheer, bread pakora with tea
Airhostess: sir tusi jahaaz te aaye ho prabhat feri te Nahi.
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SANTA London ke Hotel mein murga khane gaya,
lekin murge ka english word bhul gaya.
Waiter-What do u like 2 have sir??
SANTA -1 plate egg ke Papa please...